In The Rear View

            
          In The Rear view

 

 
How many of you keep looking in your rear view mirror to guide you through the present? How many of you have a special person or place you run to when life gets too hard? How about a memory or memories you've labeled as "The happiest" moments of your life?  Have you given any thought at all to what kind of impact these seemly innocent objects of affection has had on your present or will have on your future? 

 
If you think they haven't had an impact on your present or won't impact your future think again! Don't believe me? Ask yourself a few questions like am I still the same person I was twenty years ago, ten years ago, five years ago, or even a year ago? I can bet the answer will always be NO! Why because we are always evolving in some way or another as we go through life.

 
What was important to us in middle school no longer matter much when we entered high school? What matter to us in high school no longer mattered when we started college, got married, or started our careers. The people we surrounded ourselves with in high school or college may not be our closest friends today. Why? Again I'll repeat because we are constantly evolving into somebody else or something more than what we were before. I believe that process is usually referred to as the natural progression of life.

 
For some of us though we have an extremely hard time letting go of certain aspects of our past because we fear never being as happy as we once felt. We hang onto small objects like key chains, love letters, or old matchbooks as reminders of a time when we felt loved. We have special places we run to hide at when things just don't happen the way we wanted them too. We keep those "Special people" in our lives we like to go to when life gets too hard. We get so wrapped up in trying to recapture the glory days we don't see the present for what it really can be like.  

 
We don't see how that ”Special Person" may not be having such a positive impact on our present lives or that we are passing up other special people because we fail to see them for who they are or what they do for us because they care for us in the now. We tote around old pictures or memories of places, times, and people that once made us feel happy, loved, safe, comfortable, or gave us that "On top of the world" rush.

 
The sad thing is we don't just look back on those memories fondly, no we use them like weapons trying to measure each one up against any other moment that arises in life to see if maybe we are as happy now as we were back then. In doing so, we ruin chance after chance of happiness because we are stuck trying to recreate a feeling or scenario of a time that was unique or special. I have to wonder with so much time being spent looking backwards how can we possibly ever really be looking forward.

If we are not looking forward then how do we expect to experience those fleeting moments we long for when we have to live in the moments at the time they are happening not looking to the past for how it should be happening. I think most of us have heard the famous quote by George Santayana. "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." As much as I believe those words provide a cautionary warning. I also believe they can be quite, self -damaging when taking out of context which happens when we use it to justify holding on to something from the past that we should otherwise let go.

 
I recently learned some of these lessons first hand, like what happens when you hold on to parts of the past out of fear that you will never experience the same level of love or happiness. I had to learn the hard way that holding on to a set of memories for too long prevents you from looking past what you had once to what you could be having now. What I learned is that I have a real shot at being happy maybe not the same level of happiness I felt way back when but happiness all the same. 

 
I could end up being happier or feeling more love it's hard to say but I'll never know unless I take the chance. Just like I will never know what amazing moments are waiting for me now or in the future if I keep looking backwards for answers to the uncertainties of the present? 

The past is okay to be remembered from time to time when special occasions arise but otherwise it belongs behind you in a map of where you have been rather then where you would like to be again.
Heck it's even okay to keep those trinkets, pictures, and love letters because after all they did contribute to who you are today and who you will become tomorrow but boxed them up and put them away. You don't need to see them every day to know they are a part of you!

 
As for me, I know giving up my old habits won't be an easy accomplishment. I have no doubt I'll stumble along the way but I have faith it will be well worth it in the end. It will be worth it when I start really living my life to the fullest again & creating new memories to carve out my path in life. So I am going to tear that old rear view mirror off, and through that sucker out the window!

 
Here is to hoping that I never find myself looking backwards wishing for something I could have had or could have been but ALWAYS celebrating what I have! Thanks for visiting & reading!  


                              Your Truly,
                                 AW.
 





                                                                 


























 

Welcome! I'm AW.

Hello! Welcome to my first blog!!  Alright so here is a little 411 on who I am.  My name is AW. Beardsley, I'm 35 years young, and I currently live in Western Maryland.

I live up in the part of Maryland that is best known for  snow & the beautiful mountain views. Although I've grown up in the mountains of Maryland, I have also lived in Northwest Ohio (where it was too cold for this girl!)  I did a lot of traveling at eighteen years old which gave me the privilege of seeing much of the United States! 

 I have five wonderful children and one overgrown kid I call Husband! I also have two feline babies named "Poe" (yes he is named after Edgar Allan Poe) and "Oreo" who was named by my oldest daughter Katie. (We wanted to name him Frost but the kids out voted us!) 

Now that you got to know a little about the personal side lets move on to the writer side of me. I have been writing poetry since I  was in elementary school but currently I'm writing my first novel (Shall I say attempting too at least.) I will blog more on that later!

Author's & their work that has inspired me as a writer:
Margret Mitchell (Gone With The Wind) J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter)  P.C. and Kristin Cast (House of Night Series) Danielle Steel (The Wedding)  Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)
 Stephen King (Carrie) and last but not least Stephanie Meyers (Breaking Dawn ) 

I have many more Books & Author's that I've enjoyed reading but I'll spare you that list as it could go on forever! Well there you have it the short version of my long life! I want to thank you for stopping by & hope that you will check back in weekly !!!

                                            Yours Truly,

                                                AW.