A Note From AW

Dear Friends,

First let me say thank you for visiting, reading, and sharing my page. I am very grateful for all that you have done, and continue to do! 14,000 + views & counting. I hope you have enjoyed the short stories and the rough unedited preview of my first chapter (My Eternal Winter) of my upcoming novel.

The Roswell Coven: Circle of Terra is now at roughly 79,000 words. I am so excited at the prospect of finishing my rough draft before the New Year is rang in, that I have decided to step away from my blog, twitter, and Facebook page. I will return once I have achieved my goal. I hope you understand.

Best of luck & I hope to see all of you in the New Year!


Yours truly,
AW. Beardsley


 

Under the Mistletoe

                                      Under the Mistletoe

                                                     

Trina James popped her head through the door. "Look what I got." She waved a white envelope. "She's actually going to do it. The crazy Biz." The she is our best friend, Julie Thomas. The thing she is about to do, is get married to a guy, she met in Los Vegas last winter.  I sat my coffee cup down on the desk in a hurry. "Well. let's see it." I held out my hand.

Trina tossed the envelope onto my desk. "I've got to run. I have a meeting with Tim in five." She glanced up at the clock. "Err, better make that in three." She flashed me a smile. "I'll meet you at our usual spot at six. We can make travel arrangements then." With that she ducked back out the door. I was getting tired of the same routine. We've been meeting at Sandy's Pub every day after work for the past six years. I've had every kind of wine Sandy's has to offer twice, and none of it is very good.

 I carefully slid the invitation out of the envelope. It was a simple invitation with an embossed picture of two doves linked together with a single ribbon. I smiled to myself. These have Julie's simplistic nature written all over them. I'm truly happy she found her happily ever after. I flipped the invitation over, and my heart skidded to a halt as four names not two leapt off the page. It was really one name causing my heart difficulties. Derrick Groves, the other groom to be wed next weekend.  I hadn't heard his name in a very long time. It's been twelve years to be exact.

To say I haven't thought about him in twelve years would be a lie. I've thought about Derrick every time I close my eye's at night. Every time I hear the strum of a steel guitar, watch Bull Durham, or take a walk in the park, I think about him. Derrick is the one who got away, the one I've been chasing ever since college.

He is my Sarah from Serendipity, except I didn't find the book with his name, or the five dollar bill, and he wasn't under the mistletoe at Joanna's diner on the date we promised to meet up again. Why I ever believed he would actually be there, is something I had yet to work out in my own head.

I met Derrick in a coffee shop on Christmas Eve my first year at NYU. He was on his way to a Christmas party, and invited me to come along. We started out seeing each other casually, but it didn't take long before we were exclusive. By the time Junior year rolled around, we had our own small apartment off campus.

Derrick and I were happy, we didn't fight or argue like some of the couples we knew. I like to believe if circumstances would have been different, we would have gotten married. I laid the invitation down on the desk, and picked up my phone. I dialed Julie's number, then sat back and waited for her to pick up. It took four rings before I heard the sassy southern accent say "Hello."

"Hi Julie, It's Katie." I said into the receiver.

There was a brief pause. "Katie? Did you get the invitation?"

"Yes, that is why I'm calling." I looked down at the desk. "I wasn't aware you and Garrett were planning on having a double wedding." A part of me was hoping it was some kind of mistake or at the very least mistaken identity. There could be a hundred Derrick Groves in the world. What are the chances this Derrick, is  my Derrick?

"Oh yeah, it was a last minute decision." Julie laughed. "Garrett's baby sister Carol got engaged at thanksgiving, and Garrett thought it would be great to have a double wedding. At first, I was not thrilled with the idea, but as it turns out Derrick is this really awesome guy, who is all into charity work. He spent the last seven years traveling all over the world on some kind of peace mission."

I closed my eyes. So much for it not being my Derrick. My throat suddenly felt very dry. "Wow, that is really interesting. Listen Julie, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it to the wedding. I have a ton of back logged work, that Tom's riding me about." I felt bad lying, but there is no way I am ready to watch the love of my life marry someone else.

"Don't be silly." Julie scolded. "I've already booked the tickets, and ordered your dress."

"My dress?" Why did she order me a dress?

Julie giggled. "Really Katie, Did you think I was going to let my favorite bride's maid, wear an office suit down the isle? Not a chance. I got you a beautiful dress, and matching shoes. Trina helped me with all the measurements, so I know it'll fit." She declared.

My stomach was churning. "I'm a bride's maid?"

"Of course, you're my best friend." She paused to answer a question about flowers. "Hey Julies. I have to go, but I will see you and Trina tomorrow. Love you." With that she hung up.

I blinked. What just happened? Since when did I become a part of the wedding, and not just a guest? And what did she mean by "See you and Trina tomorrow" the wedding is not until next Saturday. I hung up the phone, and shut down my computer. I need to get out of here.

The bad wine at Sandy's was starting to sound pretty good. I hurried down to the lobby, and hailed a cab to take me the six and a half blocks. The cab driver tried to strike up a friendly conversation but after a block of one word answers he gave up, and drove the rest of the way in silence. I paid the fare, and wished him a good night.

Sandy's pub was as I expected to find it...empty. I grabbed a table near the back, and ordered a glass of the house wine of the day from a tired looking waitress in a black pencil skirt, and white lacey blouse. The poor woman looked had I was feeling inside. She took my order, and disappeared in the direction of the bar.

What am I going to do now? I don't want to go to the wedding, let alone be in the wedding ceremony that is going to tie the guy I am still madly in love with to another woman. How inappropriate would it be for me to even be in this wedding? I am the old girl friend of the groom. Well one of the grooms anyway. Isn't there some kind of law forbidding this kind of thing?

The waitress returned with my glass of wine, and a basket of pretzels. "Is there anything else I can get you this evening?" She yawned. "Sorry, I have a new kid. He keeps me up all night." She explained.
I smiled. "Congrats." I replied politely. "I am good for now, thanks." She nodded ,and strolled away to help a couple who wandered in off the street and looked confused.

I was half way through my second glass, and no closer to a solution, when Trina slid into the seat across from mine. She flung her strawberry blond hair over her right shoulder as she leaned into the table. "What's got you looking so down?" She asked.

"Nothing, I'm great."

She narrowed her eyes. "I've known you for six years now. I think by now I know when you are great." She pointed across the table at me. "You are far from great, so what gives?" She popped a pretzel in her mouth. "Is this about Julie's wedding?"

I drained the glass. "Did you know it's a double wedding?"

Trina shrugged. "Julie might have mentioned it, when we were making the arrangements." She grinned. "Oh speaking of arrangements, don't be mad." She warned. "Julie, and I thought it would be great if you and I were Bride maids. We also decided to surprise you with a mini vacation before the wedding. How does a four day get-a-way at Crystal lake ski resort sound to you?"

A rather large lump was forming in my throat. I knew the answer but had to ask anyway."Who exactly is going on this mini vacation?" Please, please don't let her say it. Trina held up her hand to signal for the waitress. She turned back to me.

"Well let's see. Julie and Garrett, you and me." She picked up another pretzel from the basket. Oh, and the another couple getting married, what's their names?" She squinted her eyes, as she tried to recall the names on the invitation.

"Carol and Derrick." I whispered.

Trina laughed. "Yeah, that's them." She again signaled for the waitress. Trina could be a tad impatient, when she wants something. I usually try to make it up to the wait-staff by leaving a sizable tip on the table before we leave. The waitress appeared with her notepad and pen ready to take her order. Trina order a chardonnay, and a basket of fries. I asked for another glass of wine.

Midway through my third glass a thought occurred to me. I might not be able to get out of the wedding but I should be able to weasel my way out of the vacation. When I told Julie, I was back logged at work I was only partially lying. I do have a small amount of back logged files to finish, and my boss hadn't come down on me yet, but if might if I told him we were blowing off work for a week in the mountains skiing.

"It sounds delightful." I pressed my lips together. "I don't seriously Tom will let me take an entire week off from work." I shook my head. "Not with all those back logged files sitting on my desk. What a bummer too, it would have been a blast." I was feeling confident now.

Trina grinned. "Ask me what my meeting with Tom was about?"

My confidence was waning. "Trina what did you do?"

She beamed a teeth gleaming smile at me. "I single handedly got Tom to agree to both our vacations, by working with him to close four out of twelve of your cases. The remaining eight cases is being distributed through the office." She boosted.

"I going to be sick." I pressed my cheek against the cool surface of the table. Why couldn't she have just left things alone? I get she was trying to help, and any other time, I would be singing her praise but not this time. Not when she left me no conceivable way out.

"Katie?" Trina whispered. "How much have you had to drink?"

"No-where near enough." I muttered.

Twenty bottles of this rancid house wine, would not be enough for what is ailing me. There is no harm in trying though, what do I have to lose? I'm already going to hell, or skiing but it might as well be hell. I raised my hand above my head to signal for the waitress. Trina grabbed my hand and pushed it back down on the table. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"I am ordering more wine." I still had my cheek pressed against the table.

"No, more wine." She sighed. "How about you tell me what's really going on here?" I didn't have to look at her face to know, she is staring down at me with those huge sad eyes, and is lightly biting the inside of her bottom lip.  Trina is very easy to read, and right now she is fretfully worried.

"I don't want to go on this vacation or to the wedding." I admitted. I sat up a little to quickly, causing the room to spin slightly. Okay so maybe I've had enough to drink tonight after all. Trina studied my face for a moment then she did something shocking.

She laughed at me. "I can't believe Katie Lawrence is jealous. You're jealous of Julie tying the knot with a guy she barely knows." She shook her out her hair in a sweeping motion. "Do you know how utterly crazy that sounds?" She added.

This is where I am expected to laugh and agree with her, and forget about this whole ordeal by ordering another round of drinks. I, however did not laugh, because I am jealous.  Although my jealously has very little to do with Julie, and everything to do with Derrick. Some thing I could not explain to Trina.

Trina, Julie, and I met two years after Derrick left for the peace tour. I was pretty sad back then, but all I ever told them was a really great guy had broken my heart. They pushed for details but I've always held them him and our memories close to my hear. To share them with someone else would dull or tarnish them in some way.

"I'm going home." I pushed off the table, and rose to my feet. Trina's jaw dropped open, and then quickly shut.  She scrambled to her feet, but I was already staggering towards the front door. By the time she caught up with me I was outside on the sidewalk.

Tears were blurring my vision as I stepped off the sidewalk into the crosswalk. What kind of sick twisted joke is karma playing on me? Why did it have to be Derrick? Why Couldn't karma have picked one of my less serious high school boyfriends. I could have dealt with that, but this was to much to handle.

"Katie!" Trina called out. "Wait, Stop!"

I ignored Trina's shouts, and continued right into the path of a oncoming scooter. I was barely aware it had clipped me until I landed hard on concrete. Trina was next to me in a matter of seconds, her eyes were wide in shock, and on her face was a frozen look of dread. For a brief moment everything around me was silent. I could not hear Trina screaming my name, though I could read her lips.

The man from the scooter was also next to me, snapping her fingers. A woman on the sidewalk was on her phone, although her lips were moving fast , I was able to make out just enough to determine she was on the phone with a 911 operator. The scooter guy clapped his hands, and brought me out of the silence.  "Can you hear me?" He shouted.

I winced at the noise. "What happened?"

"Katie?" Trina laughed in relief. "Oh, thank god!" She turned around to the crowd building on the sidewalk. "She's okay." She shouted to the onlookers.  "Can someone help me get her up to that apartment building over there." She pointed to our apartment building.

The guy next to me shook his head. "Nobody is to move this girl." He announced. He turned back to Trina. "She needs a hospital, not a couch." He sighed. "I'm a doctor, or I will be when I finish my residency next year."  I squinted my eyes to get a better look.

He was tall, thin, blond, blue eyed, and way too young to be a doctor. He was also beautiful to look at, which made me think either I am still unconscious or this is another one of karma's cruel tricks. The cute rich doctor that saves the newly heartbroken maiden, and they fall happily in love.
What a crock of sheep.

"So this is where we supposedly fall madly in love with each other?" I muttered.

The doctor laughed. "I hope not. My husband John might have a problem with that plan." Now I know karma is messing with me. He leaned forward. "I won't tell if you don't." He winked. I started to laugh but abruptly stopped as the pain in my left leg made its self known.

"My leg," I said. " It hurts."

He nodded. "You landed on. I don't think its broken, but can't say for sure until it's been x-rayed. The paramedic's are here now to take you to the hospital. I'll be right behind you." He assured. The doctor moved back so the EMT's could secure a neck brace, and place me on a stretcher. I closed my eyes as they wheeled me to the ambulance, as I didn't want to see the mass of people watching me.

Trina rode in the ambulance next to me, and asked a dozen question about my condition on the way to the hospital. By the time we reached the hospital parking lot, she had worn on everyone nerves so much so they pointed her to the waiting room as we entered the emergency room doors. Just as he promised the young blond doctor was waiting in the room as they switched me over to the hospital bed.  "Good luck," One of the EMT's said to the doctor. "Her friend is a talker."

"Have a good night Charles." The doctor turned back to me. " Okay, Katie let's get your check out, and maybe get you out of here tonight." He motioned for a nurse to come over to the bed. "This is nurse Regan, she is going to take you down to x-ray." He explained. "I'll be back shortly."

"Hi Katie," She smiled. "Sorry to hear about you're accident."

I blushed. "It was entirely my fault. I walked out in front of him."

She patted my hand. "Don't worry, you're in good hands with Dr. Kane." She unlocked the wheels on the bed. "Let's get you down to x-ray, so we can see about getting that collar off you." Nurse Regan smiled as she pushed the bed down the hall towards the radiology department. The entire ordeal was over in thirty minutes, and I was wheeled back to my room by a different nurse to wait for my results.

Trina was allowed to back to wait for the results with the stipulation she had to remain inside the room until the doctor came back. She apparently had been pestering the nurses about my condition so much they threatened to call security. Even now she was pacing the floor with her cellphone in her hand. When it ding, she flipped it opened, and sighed. "Good, they are on the way."

"Who's on their way?" I closed my eyes.

She sat in the chair next to my bed. "Julie is on her way down."

"Why, is Julie coming down here?" I murmured.

"I called her." Trina said. "She is our best friend. Why wouldn't I call her?"

What this translated to is Trina got freaked out, and called in reinforcements. I am mostly likely fine, and will probably be released once the doctor reads my x-rays. To have Julie come all the way down here is a giant waste of her time. "Call Julie back, and tell her to stay put."

Trina looked up from her phone. "I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"She is already here." Trina closed her phone.

I took a calming breath. "You called her from the scene." I concluded. It's the only way possible Julie would have had enough time to drive all the way down here. She shot me a bashful smile, and then nodded her head. "Oh, Trina." I sighed. "Tell me she drove down here alone."

A knock sounded on the door. Dr. Kane stuck his head in. "Knock, knock ladies." He winked, then walked into the room. "I have some good news, and some bad news." He announced. "The good news is you get to take the collar off, no injuries to your neck or spine." I unfastened the neck brace, and  used the button to raise the head of the bed to an upright position.

"What's the bad news?" I asked.

DR. Kane sat down on the stool next to the bed. "Your left leg did not fair as well. It's broken in two places. Here and here to be more specific." He used a pencil to point out the two area's. "You also suffered a minor concussion, but nothing to be concerned over. I'll order a pair of crutches, and get your leg fixed up in a cast, and send you on your way."

"Thanks Doctor." I paused. "What about your scooter?"

He chuckled. "It's rock solid. A policeman is here to take your statement, and I'll give your information to my insurance company to settle any medical bills that are needed." He frowned. "Unless of course you decided to sue."

I shook my head. "I have no plans on suing anyone. It was my fault."

He walked over to the door. "I'll hold you too that."

Trina popped up from her seat. "Wait a second doctor." He paused in the doorway. "Katie was supposed to be a bride's maid at our friends wedding next Saturday. Will she be able to be apart of the wedding now, you know with her leg and all." She asked.

Doctor Kane meet my eyes. "I'm afraid not."

He winked at me, and then disappeared out into the hallway. Trina spun around with tears in her eyes and a quivering lip. "I'm so sorry Katie!" She cried. I tried to hide my smile. Maybe Karma decided to give me a little break after all.

A second knock sounded on the door, and Julie came bouncing into the room. My breath caught in my throat as a figure appeared in the door behind her. My eyes travel over his sleek athletic body, and thick black wavy hair, still styled the same way it was all those years ago. My eyes lingered on those startling bright ice blue eye's which caused me to fall so madly in love with him.

Derrick frozen in the doorway, the moment he realized who was staring back at him. I watched his face shed different emotions before settling on shock. He took one step and stopped. The idea of seeing me again was obviously not something he expected.

"Katie?" He whispered.

My heart fluttered in chest, as if it was awakening after all these years. I felt the familiar tugging of my soul as it yearn to have him close to me. I curled my fingers to keep from reaching out for him. He was after all not mine to claim. My Derrick belonged to someone else now.

"Hello, Derrick." I smiled. "It's been a long time."

He stepped into the room a little further. "Yes, it really has." His voice cracked.

"Do you two know each other?" Julie asked.

A look of concern filled his face as he looked from me to Julie. It was obvious he wanted to keep our past just that a part of the past. He had moved on, and it was time I should too. I took a deep breath, and smiled through the new pain, this one in my chest.

"We knew each other once." I forced a bigger smile. "In college."

Julie laughed. "I guess it's a small world after all."

Trina stood back studying three of  us for a moment. Derrick made light conversation, and I tried in return to ask light hearted questions about his life since college. I could tell he was feeling awkward, and practically dashed out of the room when they came in to set my cast. Trina made sure to tell Julie about the doctor recommending my non-participation in the wedding.

Julie followed Derrick out to hunt up the doctor to see if he could be persuaded to change his mind. I prayed the kind Doctor Kane, remained unpersuaded. Now more than ever, I was sure the last place, I needed to be was at that wedding. While Nurse Regan, and another nurse whose name I was told, but immediately forgot- worked on my foot. Trina again paced the floor in front of the bed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Trina stopped pacing.

I shrugged. "There wasn't anything to tell."

Trina moved quickly to the chair next to my bed. "Stop. I know."

"There isn't anything to know." I reiterated.

Trina lifted my hand. "I know. He is the one who got away."

The two nurse exchanged a look between them but said nothing. I could deny her claims, but Trina was not going to be easily deterred from her notion. I had held on to those scared memories for so long, because I was afraid they would be some how lessen in importance to me. Now I realized it was my way of hanging on to him. If I ever plan on letting go of Derrick, I am going to have to let go, and that means telling someone about our life together.

I nodded. "You're right. Derrick is the one who got away."

"What happened?" She asked.

"The classic love story." I answered. "We met at a coffee shop on Christmas Eve, He was on the way to a party and invited me to go. We shared our first kiss under the mistletoe, and our last one four years later in the living room of our apartment." It was a condense version, but I would have plenty of time to fill in the details later. "Derrick had gotten a once in a lifetime offer to travel the world on a peace tour, and he wanted me to go along. I, however was just starting my internship at Hill, Morgan, and Peterson's and was not willing to give that up. So we did what anyone would do in that situation."

Trina wiped a tear from her cheek. "You broke up."

"We broke up." I nodded my head. "We also came up with this crazy plan, to meet at our favorite diner two years later, under the mistletoe, if we still loved and wanted to be with each other. I went to the diner and stood under that mistletoe for six hours, before the kind waitress convinced me to at least take a seat and have something to eat. I ended up sitting in the diner all night. When the sun started to come up, is when I finally realized he was not coming." It seemed silly to hear it spoke out loud. We were just a bunch of naïve kids back then.

Nurse Regan placed a metal tray on the counter, and washed her hands. "If you ask me, the boy was foolish to let a sweet girl like you go." She dried her hands on a wad of paper towels. "Maybe you're better off without him." She pointed at my leg. "Give that a few minutes to set, and I'll be back with your crutches shortly."

"All this was over him." Trina concluded. "That's what was bothering you tonight, and why you rushed out of the pub into oncoming traffic." She shook her head. "It's why you didn't want to be a part of the wedding or vacation."

I nodded. "I was acting crazy."

Trina got to her feet. "No, you were trying to protect your heart." She said. "I was just too caught up in the excitement of all the wedding plans, and stuff that I didn't see it. I'm sorry." Trina squeezed my hand. "I'll be back. I'm going to stop Julie from brow beating that doctor."

"Thank you." I whispered.

She offered me a smile, then slipped out of the room. I watched the last Nurse finish up whatever paperwork he was working on, and then like the first, washed his hands. "My husband was right about you." He said. "You are a cutie."

"You're Doctor Kane's husband?"

"Yep. I'm Alex." He grinned.

I frowned. "Sorry, for the accident."

He wagged his finger at me. "Now, now don't be starting all that." Alex said. "Jay is fine, the wrenched scooter is fine, and you child are fine." He walked back over to the bed. "May I ask you something about this guy who got away?"

"Sure," I laughed. "Why not, I'm spilling the truth tonight anyway."

He sat down on the stool. "Did you ever try to find him?" He asked. "I mean after the night of the diner. Did you ever try to look for him after that? To see if maybe something else caused him to not be there that night? A missed flight. A illness, a bomb blowing up the road in some remote location of the world? All I'm saying is maybe there is a reason he wasn't there."

"No. When Derrick did not show up, I just assumed it was because he didn't love me anymore. It seemed like the only logical explanation for his absence at the time." I felt the first spark of hope ignition in my chest. It quickly died out with the realization, it was too late. "He is getting married next Saturday, so it's a pointless question now."

Alex stood up. "It's never too late to learn the truth." I could see why Doctor Kane loved him. Alex was one of those guys that always sees the best in every kind of scenario. "I'll see about those crutches." He waved goodbye and exited the room.

What was supposed to be a few minutes turned into two hours. I buzzed the nurse's station a couple of times, but was told my nurse was not available, and would have to wait a little while longer. I was mulling over the idea of finding away to hobble out of the room on my own when the door finally opened. Trina walked in with my crutches, and Alex followed behind her with a wheelchair.

Alex lifted me, and sat me down in the chair. "Sorry, it took so long. We had to make proper arrangements." He winked at Trina. "Are you ready to get out of here?"

"I was ready two hours ago." I grumbled.

Trina giggled. "She isn't one for patience."

"Oh, I don't know." Alex said. "I think she might be."

There seemed to be some kind of hidden meaning behind their words, but at this point, I was just looking forward to getting home, and climbing into my bed. I want to put this whole day behind me. Tomorrow I would call Trina, and tell her all the details of my relationship with Derrick she wants to know. I just want one more night with my memories before their not mine anymore.

I really didn't notice when he turned down the hallway, instead of going straight passed the nurse station to the waiting room. It was not until we stopped in front of the elevators that I realized something else was going on. "Where are you two taking me?"

Trina shrugged. "I guess you're going to have to wait, and find out."

I frowned. "Trina, I am tried. Can't I just go home."

The elevator doors popped open. "No, I don't believe you can." Alex whispered in my ear, as he wheeled me into the elevator. Trina pushed a button, and then stood back as the doors swung shut, and started moving us up passed all the floors to the roof. When the doors reopened. I was looking out at Julie, Derrick, Nurse Regan, and a very confused man in a black suit.

"What's going on?" I asked. Alex snickered as he pushed the chair out onto the bumpy surface of the roof. "Sorry the area over by the helipad is smoother, but we're not allowed to be over there unless we are taking or bring a patient in off the helicopter. Alex parked the wheelchair in front of Derrick, and stepped back.

"You're up man." He said.

Derrick looked around at the group of faces before he finally looked down at me. A soft smile spread across his lips. He bent down on one knee so that we were eye to eye. "Hi, Katie." He whispered. "I know you're probably confused by all this, but I can explain, if you give me the chance."

I nodded. "Okay, I'm listening."

Where was I going to go anyway? I was in a wheelchair, on top of the hospital roof. Trina also had my crutches in her hands, so even if I managed to get off the roof. I wasn't getting much further. Derrick's cleared his throat. Why does he look so nervous? Now I was beginning to feel super nervous. Trina and Julie stepped forward.

"Trina told me the story. I wasn't aware Derrick and you had a connection until today." Julie said. She look genuinely remorseful. "If I had known, I wouldn't have agreed to a double wedding." Trina nodded. "I wouldn't have either." She echoed Julie.

"Julie and Trina, both explained all the events that led us to this moment." Derrick stated. "First, I want to clear the air about something. I was on my way to the diner, but my flight was grounded due to a freaky snow storm. I spent Christmas even in an abandoned airport in the middle of Iowa waiting for the storm to pass. I got the first flight out on Christmas day, and rushed to the diner. I waited in that diner drinking bad coffee all day, and all through the night. I prayed you would come, even through it was a day later, I could not give up the hope you would come.

I've gone back to that diner every year Christmas Eve since, and would stay through the night. Last year while I sat hoping you would appear, a girl walked in who reminded me a lot of you. She was funny, sweet, and willing to talk all night to a stranger about a girl he obsessively waits for every Christmas eve. The girl's name was Carol, and over time I came to like her, and in some small way I grew to love her, but not the way I loved you." He paused.

Where is he going with all of this? Alex was right when he said, it was never to late to learn the truth. I am happier knowing Derrick did love me, as much as I loved him. What Alex didn't know, and neither did I until this moment was it was too late to change the result. The reality is too much time has passed. He met someone else, and fell in love with her, and why shouldn't he have. Derrick is a great guy, who has a lot to offer a woman.

"Thank you for telling me about the diner." I said. "It feels good to know, you were there. I understand you weren't expecting to see me today. I also understand you've met someone who you love and going to marry next Saturday. You don't need to explain, I get it."

Derrick gripped my hand. "I'm not getting married next Saturday. When I left you're room earlier, I left to call Carol. We talked at length about how we were feeling, and she told me to run, not walk to you and tell you how much I love you." He grinned. "Katie, I love you." He let go of my hand, and reached into his coat pocket. 

My heart slammed off my chest.  He pulled out a bundle of mistletoe. "I'm a little late, but if you will still have me. I have an important question to ask you." I grabbed a hold of the edge of his jacket, and pulled him to me. I pressed my lips against his lightly "I'll always want you." I whispered.

Derrick deepened the kiss. I lost myself for a brief moment until the sound of awe's pulled my back to the present. I pulled back. "What's your question?" Derrick reached into his pocket. He pulled a small worn looking red box from his pocket. "This once had a silver ribbon, but It fell off years ago." He handed me the box. "What do you say, Katie, Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" I cried. "Hell yeah I will."

He opened the box and slipped the ring onto my finger. He kissed me again, and then nodded at the man in the black suit. "You heard the woman, she said yes." Derrick declared. I looked around at the group of unlikely strangers, and felt my heart burst with joy. There on the roof top of the hospital on a pair of crutches, with our friends watching, we got finally got married. When the preacher told Derrick to kiss the bride, my friends threw strips of gauzes at us. Derrick lifted me into his arms, and kissed me again, and again.

"Merry Christmas Katie." He whispered.

"Merry Christmas Derrick." I whispered back.

The End.

MERRY CHRISTMAS & BEST WISHES FOR A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
                                      
                                                 ~ AW~





























 

On A sea of Sorrow (Poem)

We set sail on a sea of sorrow.
In a an ocean of own regrets.
Capsized are we by human nature.
As we strive towards Ignorant bliss.
                       ~
We whirl around in a pool of lies,
caught up in the undertow of sins we hide.
What we put off for tomorrow
On this day cannot be denied.
                      ~

As we aspire for ultimate perfection
On a tidal wave of confusion we ride
Violently we crash into the shore
Reeling in the aftermath of our own demise
                       ~
Shipwrecked are the lives we had.
The words of truth left unspoken.
Just another tainted soul lost at sea.
                       ~
The price we pay for our disillusions
Our love gets embedded deep within the sand
We set sail upon a sea of sorrow
In an ocean of our own regrets

By AW. Beardsley

Contact Me Here

Forsaken part Three

 

There was a high pitched screeching noise as the cars made impact then the world went black. I felt like I was floating around but everything around me was so dark.  I heard a weak murmuring.

 “Christy, please!” this time the murmuring was louder. I could see faint traces of light. “Christy please baby wake up!” I blinked. That is Jake’s voice but why is he crying?

“Jake?” I called out into the darkness. “Where are you?”

“I am right here honey!” Jake wrapped his fingers around mine.

Is this a dream? I fluttered my eyes until they opened. There was Jake leaning over me with a big smile on his unshaven haggard looking face. “What happen to you Jake you look like you’ve been awake for days?” I croaked out.

Jake laughed kissing my forehead carefully. “I have been. I haven’t left your side for even a second since they brought you in here.”

Since they brought me in here? I looked around at the white walls and ceiling the green ugly chair. The IV stand to the left of Jake and all the monitors to his right.

“Why am I here?” I tried to sit up but my ankles and wrists were strapped to the bed rails.  “Jake?” I cried.

“Hey take it easy!” Jake pushed my hair back out of my face. “I will tell you everything you just have to promise to stay calm.”

How am I supposed to stay calm? I am strapped to a hospital bed with no memory of how I got here.  Jake stroked the side of my cheek.

“You were on the way back to the trailer to get your stuff. You were maybe five hundred yards away from the turn off when your car died in the middle of the four way intersection.” He began.  “An eye witness said you were trying to get the car to restart but it just wouldn’t turn over, all of a sudden a car came barreling down the road behind you and smash into the back of your car.

The driver of the other car was pretty drunk so by the time he seen you it was already too late. The force of the impact pushed the trunk of your car into the back of the driver’s seat which pushed the car into the light pole across the road.

You were pretty banged up and for a while there it looked like we might lose you both.” He paused letting the words settle in around me.

I looked up with tears in my eyes. “The baby did I lose it?”

Jake shook his head. “You both made it.”

I sighed in relief as tears rolled down my cheek. “Is the other driver okay?”

 “He needed minor surgery but he lives to see another day.” He turned his head sideways to avoid meeting my eyes like he does when he is hiding something.

My heart stood still.

“Jake what aren’t you tell me?”

He sighed. “Christy will you please slow it down a little okay? You just woke up after being in a coma for three days. I promise you will get all the answers you need but just not all at once okay?”

 “Three days? Did I miss much?” I joked trying to lighten his mood.

He laughed. “I told my parents about the baby, they are surprisingly happy at the prospect of being grandparents. I of course had to promise to marry you after the entire lot of expecting grandfather’s found out.” He paused. “What do you say? Will you be my wife?”

I closed my eyes as fresh tears flooded them. “Once you graduate from College I would be honored to marry you.” I whispered.

Jake laughed. “You’re so stubborn.” He kissed my forehead again.

“You will marry this boy before he leaves for college and live with me while he is gone.” A voice ordered softly from the doorway to my room.

I turned my head slowly as a tall man with graying black hair, strong jaw line, and a set of blue eyes I’d recognize anywhere stepped into my room.  My breath caught it was no other than Frank Jacobs my father.

“I am just going to leave you two alone for a few minutes.” Jake let go of my hand. “I’ll be just down the hall telling my parents the good news.”

“Dad is that you?”

“Yes my daughter.” He answered stepping up to my bedside.

I started to weep. He reached out his hand towards me shaking his head as he brushed tears away from my eyes. “Don’t cry my beautiful daughter. I am here now and promise to never leave your side again until you say “Hey old-man you get lost now” Okay?” He asked with a chuckle.  I had forgotten how funny I used to find his jokes.

“I might never let you go again.” I met his sparkling blue eyes.

“Then I would be a very lucky and happy man.” He wiped a tear away from his own eye. “I almost lost you my jewel without ever knowing you. It was the single scariest moment of a father’s life.” He explained.

I smiled up. “I am sorry we had to meet like this for us to finally see each other again but I didn’t know you were ever even in touch with me.” 

He nodded.  “Jake told me about the confrontation he walked up on between you and Jeanne. I had a few lawyers and investigators look into it further and learn a lot of things I hadn’t been aware of but that is behind us now. “

I bit my lip. “Is Jeanne going to jail for stealing my money?” I asked.  I was having a change of heart. Call it the miracle of second chances wearing me down. I just didn’t want to see her locked up in some jail cell.

My father cleared his throat. “No Jeanne will not be going to jail for her crimes. She is already paying for crimes.” He paused to sit down in the chair beside my bed. “There is no easy way of saying this but Jeanne was in the car that hit you.  I am sorry honey but your mother died at the scene.” He lowered his head either out of respect for me or out of respect for the woman that he once called his wife. I had a feeling it was a little of both.

My mother is dead? My mother was in the car that smashed into me? It was a lot to take in all at once. I laid my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes as my mind began processing what my father had just said to me. I can’t say there isn’t a slight sting of pain for the loss of my mother.

I would have to be heartless not to feel something but it wasn’t to the degree I thought it would be.  I opened my eyes. “I am okay.” I assured him.

My father grinned down at me. “I knew you would be my sweet girl!” 

A few minutes later a couple of nurses appeared. One released the straps on my arms and legs while the other checked all my vitals. I was just listening to the whooshing sound of my baby’s heartbeat when Jake reappeared with his parents.

A smile broke across all their lips at the sound of the little life growing inside of me.  Mr. Jennings put his arm around Jake’s shoulder. He was beaming with a smile so large I wondered if his face was being to hurt.

  Mrs. Jennings walked up next to the bed and placed her hand over my mine. “Thank god, you are alright! I don’t know what any of us would have done if we lost you. Christy, you are not just my son’s girlfriend. I never have seen you that way. You are every bit my daughter as much as Megan.”

“We just need to make it official” Mr. Jennings agreed.

I smiled. “Once Jake finishes college we will.”

“Nonsense,” Mr. Jennings waved his finger at me. “Jake will go to college, and so will you. You’ll be married with a beautiful child and more help than necessary. You and this child are a blessing and a miracle to this family. It’s time you accept that Christy. We all love you!”

As the sun, began to fade into the distance. I watch these two separate families bond into one. I knew than all my fears were not rational because this child would have a better life than I could have ever dreamed of because he or she is already loved and wanted by all of its family.

   Most importantly she has two parents that not only love him or her but each other as well. I know some would say it was a divine power that saved us in that accident. I choose to believe we were forsaken for love. 

 

                                       The End

 

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Forsaken Part Two

 

 

 

My hands shook as I plucked the envelope out of the pile. I ripped into the envelope shedding it. I unfolded a thin sheet of white paper. My heart beat wildly in my chest. It was all right there. The last six months of transactions on this account-my account.

  The record showed deposits being made on the 1^st and 15^th of each month for the amount of 1500 dollars.  It also showed withdraws being made on the 1^st and 15^th day of the month as well, except this last one.

 My mother must have missed the deposit amount was for twenty-five hundred this month instead of the regular fifteen. I tossed the statement back onto the counter. What else has she lied to me about?

There is only one way to find out. I stomped into her room nearly gagging on the smell of stale smoke of whiskey. I threw open the only window in the room that wasn’t jammed then head straight for the back of her closet.

   I pulled out a small brown leather suitcase the plopped down in the middle of the floor. This was the only thing my mother ever ordered me to stay away from. If she was hiding something it would be in here. My fingers linger over the zipper as I fought back against my conscience. Once I opened this case there would be no going back. I would violate her trust forever.

“Oh what the hell,” I thought out loud.  “She never was much of a mother anyway!” I yanked on the zipper exposing all her dirty little secrets. There were definitely plenty of them here.

  I found Birthday cards sent to me by from my father dating back as far as my fifth birthday.  There were twelve Christmas, Easter, and Valentine’s Day cards, and countless just thinking about you cards.

  There were stack upon stacks of letters that average one a week for the last fourteen years. I found more bank statements showing deposits and withdraws going all the way back to my third grade year.

 Among the bank statements was a copy of my mother’s divorce decree that showed my father in addition to trust payments also paid my mother alimony, and has been paying all the utilities of this dump for the last twelve years.

What finally sent me over the edge was finding the pictures of my father with his new wife Lilly followed by pictures of my brother’s Jack and Connor from their births to age seven years. How could she possibly take all this from me? My head started to spin causing my stomach to churn.

 I jumped to my feet and lunged for the bathroom as I felt my stomach muscles contract. I made it around the corner into the bathroom just in time to drop down to my knees as the last contraction hit causing me to violently empty the contents of my stomach.

Once the last stomach spasm subsided I sat back against the wall wiping the sweat off my forehead.  How could she do this to me? What kind of mother takes away a child’s relationship with her father and family?

My earlier conversation with Jake flashed in my head. I am doing the same thing my mother did to me but worst. My father at least knew I existed. I buried my head in my hands. What am I going to do? I still feel having Jake involved with this baby will ruin his life. . At the very least Jake should know I am having his baby, but that I don’t want him to come around.   

Jake has a chance to really be somebody. The most I can hope for is that I don’t turn out like my mother. I rubbed my belly. “Don’t worry baby! I am going to do what’s right. I will tell him tonight.” I paused to rethink my decision. “Right after I say a few choice words to your grandmother.” I corrected.

I pulled myself up off the floor using the side of the sink. I splashed some cold water on my face then hurriedly brushed my teeth to remove any hint of getting sick. I studied my face in the mirror

 “You can do this!” I assured myself.

  I marched out of the bathroom passed my mother’s room to the kitchen. I lifted the phone off the receiver and dialed Jake’s number.

“Hello?” Mrs. Jennings answered.

“Hi, Is Jake home?” I asked.

“Yes, just a minute.” She said. “Jake, Christy is on the phone.”

“I got it mom.” Jake picked up the extension in his room.

“Alright dear, talk to you later Christy.” Mrs. Jennings replied. There was a click on the line as she hung up.

“What do you want Christy? Didn’t you say enough earlier?” Jake fired.

There was a mix of anger and pain in his voice. He is hurting and it is my entire fault.  “What I said tonight to was a lie.” I replied. I just hope for once Jake’s stubbornness doesn’t override his sense.

He snorted. “Yeah, about which part Christy? The Part where you don’t think we should see each other anymore or about having met someone else?”

I twisted the cord around my finger. He is not going to make this easy on me in the slightest. I don’t want to tell him about the baby over the phone but if I don’t give him something he won’t agree to meet up with me.

“I lied. Everything I said once we left the restaurant was a lie.” I paused to wait for him to respond but he gave me nothing. “I made up the part about meeting someone else to make you angry enough to leave.” I finally added.

“Why would you do that?” He asked.

“I can explain that but not over the phone.”

Jake cleared this throat. “Okay, I will be over in about a half an hour.”

 “How about I meet you at the park on James Street instead? I have something to take care of down around the corner from the park.” I suggested

“The only thing around the corner from the park is Hooper’s!” Jake did not hide the concern in his voice.

“Exactly where I am going Jake, it’s time my mother and I have a little chat. In fact can we make it an hour for the park?” I asked.

“Christy I don’t like the idea of you going down there alone. There are a lot of bad people that hang around in that joint.”He warned.

“I know Jake it’s not my first redo. I see you in an hour.” I hung up before he could talk me out of going.  I grabbed my keys off the counter and took one long look around. My eyes lingered on the dirty brown couch that sagged in the middle from years of abuse. It had large rips in the fabric, and a broken back leg which caused it to sit lopsided.

    Next I studied the scuffed up end tables covered in empty beer bottles and overflowing ashtrays. I turned my eyes to the barely functioning television set, and then to the empty refrigerator next to the equally empty cupboards.  This has been my life for far too long.

 I slammed the front door behind me as I half ran down the path to my barely running Chevy Chevelle. I jammed my key into the ignition and prayed it would stay running long enough for me to make it into town.  The engine fired up then sputtered out. I took a calming breath then tried again.

 Once again the engine fired up then sputtered out. I banged my fist on the steering wheel. “Come on you piece of junk start!” I turned the key then held my breath as the engine fired once more to life.

I carefully backed out of the lot onto the road. I held my breath as I shifted into drive. If she is going to stall out again this would be when it was going to happen. My heart leapt for joy as I shot off down the road. 

As I drove down the dark windy roads into town all I could think about was how differently my life could have been had my mother been an honest woman. I didn’t need fancy things but I would have like at the very least decent things.

Where did all that money go anyway? It was not used on bills, food, or furniture. It didn’t go towards getting us into a better place to live, or a nice car, and it most certainly did not get used towards nice clothing. The last Christmas gift I got was when I was in the fifth grade so it was not spent on presents.

Jeanne did buy me this used piece of crap two years ago for my sixteenth birthday.  Jeanne came strutting up the walk with one of her famous deadbeat boyfriends panting on her heel acting like she had just won the lottery. I ran outside to see what all the commotion was about to find this hunk of junk with a Christmas bow on top. 

When I complained about the condition of the car her flavor of the month Mike informed me that he had gotten the car for a great deal.  Jeanne didn’t let the opportunity to cause a little drama to pass, she broken down into tears crying “See what I have to deal with? She never appreciates what I do for her!” 

In true fashion Mike came to her defense telling me I should be grateful to have a mother who is kind enough to even give me a car. After that day Mike like the countless boy toys before him tried to act like a “father figure” who got on my nerves but I knew it would only be a matter of time before he’d disappear like the others. 

The next Mr. Wonderful was able to stick around long enough to get my car up and running but like the countless victims before he met the same fate when she grew bored.  A vicious cycle, that continues to this day.  I wish she could have found just one guy and stuck with him.

 It would have made my life a lot easier growing up. I lost of few friends over the years because of antics with various men. The one that still hurts to this day is losing Gina Delrose as my best friend because my mother was sleeping with her uncle whom of course was married.

 

 

 

As I made the final turn onto James Street, I could see the park looming a head. My eyes linger for a moment on the freshly painted benches and birch trees that surround them. I nodded my head. The park is the perfect setting to tell Jake he is going to be a father. A smile touched my lips, as a warming feeling grew inside my chest.  I shook my head. I can’t think about that right now!

I locked my eyes on the entrance to Hooper’s parking lot. I have to stay focus on the first issue-my mother. I also need to stay angry to be effective for what is going to happen next. I pulled into the lot carefully deciding on a space nearest to the road. A decision made in an effort to miss the maze of broken beer bottles and other debris scattered over the lot.

My fingers hovered over the door handle as I stared a head at the red metal front door. Can you really do this? A tiny voice from somewhere inside of me asked. I closed my eyes trying to find one redeeming quality, just one that would make my mother seem less like a monster in my eyes. All I need is too recall just one time when she showed me an ounce of love or compassion. I took a deep breath.

“You bet your ass I can!” I finally answered pulling the handle.

I swung my feet out then reached back grabbing the graduation card off the passenger seat. I carefully tucked the check, cash, and letter into my bra then slammed the door closed. Jeanne has gotten hands on the last of my father’s and my money. 

The sound of gravel crunching under my feet echoed as I stomped my way towards the front door. I was just about to grab the handle when a hand reached out of the darkness and grabbed my wrist.  

“Where exactly do you think you’re going?” A gruff voice called out.

I tugged on my wrist. “Let go of me!” I ordered.

“This isn’t a place for a child, get back in your car sweetheart and go home to your mommy and daddy!” The voice barked at me.

The bubble of hysteria that had been forming in my stomach subsided. I turned my head to the side. There is something familiar about the way he said sweetheart. I’ve heard it somewhere before but when? I scoured my memory going through Jeanne’s hall of shame one face at a time trying desperately to match the voice to a face. I had just about given up when it finally hit me.

The voice didn’t belong to an old boyfriend or the array of one night stands. I had only heard this voice a handful of times over the years when I’ve come here to retrieve my mother in her drunken state of unconsciousness.

 I stepped forward. “Bruce? Is that you?” I whispered.

A big tall burly man with long curly brown hair, goatee, and thick muscular arms that bore a tattoo of an eagle on one and an outlaw waving a gun on the other stepped out of the shadows. I felt a huge wave of relief crash down over me.

It was Bruce.  He is also known as Hut after his construction company.  I was surprised to see him back into so soon considering he just landed a multimillion dollar contract for building a new hospital up in Foster City.

On the rare occasion that Bruce does find himself back in Hampton longer than a week, he usually works for his cousin Danny as a bouncer here at Hooper’s for something to do.  “Christy? Christy Jacobs?” He questioned.

I giggled. “Yes Bruce its Christy!” I answered.                  

A smile spread across his face. “Well what do you know? I haven’t seen you since you first got that car over there. How’s it running for you anyway?” He inquired.

I shrugged. “Hit or miss, mostly miss these days!”.

Bruce frowned looking over at my car. “I have a few days of downtime. If you want I can poke around underneath the hood and see what I can do about getting her hitting again for you.” He offered.

“Thanks for offering Bruce but after tomorrow I am going to retire her to the junkyard and buy something new.” I explained.

His eyes lit-up. “Wow! A new car for Christy let me know if you need me to check it over or anything. I’d be happy to help.”

I nodded. “I’ll let you know.”

Bruce laughed shaking his head. “It’s really good to see you Christy! I was worried about how you’d turn out with your momma being part of the scenery around this old joint.’ He stated nodding back at door.

“I graduated 2^nd in my class today so how do you think I turned out?” I replied with a light chuckle. His remark about Jeanne reminded me why I am here.

“Wow 2^nd in your class! Well for what it’s worth from a no-body like me, I am proud of you kiddo!” He exclaimed.

“Thanks Bruce it means a lot!” I paused shaking my head. “You are not a no-body especially to me.” I finished beaming a smile.

He chuckled. “Alright kid. What are you doing down here anyway? I don’t think Danny called you to come down here and fish Jeanne out of her bottle yet. Did he?”He asked looking back at the door with a puzzled look.

“No Danny hasn’t called me as of yet. I came here on my own to talk with Jeanne-err-my mother about a few things that couldn’t wait.”

Bruce ran his fingers through his goatee. “I don’t know how much good Jeanne would be in whatever is going on. She has been waist high in the bottle since about noon today.” He explained.

I met his eyes. “I kind of figured but I still want to try.”

Bruce sighed. “Alright kid. Wait here.”

I smiled as Bruce yanked the door open and disappeared into the dark, hazy, smoke filled room. I was slightly thankful that I didn’t have to end up going in there to get her myself.

What would I have done without Bruce? I turn around to look at my car. Maybe I should let him take a look at it. What would it hurt? I shook my head. No he has done enough for me over the years.  I was about eleven years old the first time I really got to know Bruce. He was working down here at Hooper’s and I had rode my bike into town in hopes of getting Jeanne to give me enough money to buy a loaf of bread and some lunch meat.

Bruce having just finished up his shift was on his way to his truck when I slid into the parking lot and nearly got hit by a car pulling out of the lot. He bawled me out for how dangerous it was to be out riding after dark. He warned me to be careful around dark parking lots. I apologize then quickly explained why I had come down in the first place. Bruce played with his goatee much like he did tonight as he mauled over my explanation. In the end he decided it would be best not disturb Jeanne and he offered to drive me to the store and get me the items.

I tried to refuse but he would have none of it. The next thing I knew he was placing my bike in the back of his truck. We made two stops that night. One was at the country store where he filled a shopping cart with items that would be simple for an eleven year old to fix.

The other stop was at Hamburger Haven so that he could get me a burger and fries. It was the first time in a month I had anything warm to eat. I smiled at the memory.  A long time ago I secretly prayed that Jeanne would somehow get together with Bruce.

To me Bruce was more than just a good guy who cared about my wellbeing. In my eye’s he was the exact replica of what I had hoped my father would be like. As I got older I became thankful god never did answer those prayers. It was not because my feelings for Bruce had changed. It was because I realized he is far too good for someone like Jeanne Jacobs.

 I spun back around at the sound of the door banging against the bricks.  Jeanne stood with one hand on her hips the other around a greasy looking man with slick black hair and a lopsided mustache. I could tell by the glassy eye stare she was not happy about my eruption.  I swallowed a lump that was trying to form in my throat. I suddenly didn’t feel very brave.

“Well, well if it’s not the fancy graduate here to grace us with her presence.” Jeanne mocked. “Doesn’t that impression you Bobby?” She prompted the half wasted man hanging off her arm. “A high school graduate with honor too!”

“Sure I guess.” He mumbled. He gave a half shrug of his shoulders and looked extremely bored with this whole scene already. Jeanne seeing his lack of enthusiasm staggered towards me but missed her footing and nearly fell on her face. I would have actually enjoyed watching that but at the last possible second wonder boy behind her swooped down and straighten her back upright.

 I shook my head. She is far more pathetic then I had even thought.

 “So?” She asked flapping her arms in the air around her head.

I had to dig my nails into my wrist to keep from laughing. “What?”  

 She rolled her eyes. “What the hell do you want? Huh?

Jeanne glanced back at her audience shaking her head. “See what a high school diploma gets you these days?” She rolled her eyes for the second time. Wonder boy laughed shaking his head. “A real freaking genius apparently!” he responded with a chuckle.

I gritted my teeth. “If by genius you mean, how I graduated second in my class then yes I am. If by genius you are referring to my being accepted to the best colleges and universities all across this country then again yes I am. If by genius you mean I have mastered the art of drunk-speak then no I guess I am not.”

“CHRISTY!” Jeanne yelled at me. “She didn’t mean that.” She told wonder boy who was staring at me wide eyed. “Tell Billy you didn’t mean that Christy!” She ordered. I could see the blood boiling under her skin.

I shrugged. “I said it so I must have meant it.”

Jeanne threw her hands up. “Do you see what I have to deal with?” She moaned.

It was like someone how flipped a switch. The rage I had seen a moment ago in her eyes had vanished. What I seen now was sadness coupled with pity. 

I took a step closer to her. “What? What do you have to deal with mother?”

Jeanne shook her head as tears filled her eyes. “Oh if it’s not one thing with you it’s another Christy!” She whimpered. For a moment I almost felt bad for her until I seen the slight curl of her lips. Wonder boy looking super uncomfortable place one of his filthy hands on her shoulder. 

She whimpered again. “When will it end? After all I have done for you over the years.” She brushed her fingers across her checks. “How hard I worked to provide for you because you father ran off abandoning me with this huge responsibility.” She added with a huge body shaking sob.

I read a lot of books but none of them were as dramatic as my mother. I finally understand why all the guys she ever parade in and out of our lives all tried to be a firm “father figure” to me.

I am willing to bet she has been feeding this same line of crap to every guy that looks at her twice. I reared back my head laughing. “How long did it take you to come up with that one or are you laying it on extra thick for wonder boy back there?” I blurted out.

Jeanne scowled. “What are you talking about now fool?”

I looked her dead in the eye. “I know.”

She shook her head. “You know what?”

“I know about the money mother!” I answered.

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

For a split second before she blinked there was a hint of fear in her eyes. I pulled the card out from beneath my shirt shoving it in her direction. Jeanne reached out snatching it out of my hands. She looked at the front then careless flipped it opened then laughed.

“What he sends one card after all these years with a couple of measly dollars tucked inside and you suddenly think he’s father of the year or something?” She looked back at wonder boy who was laughing and shaking his head.

I cleared my throat. “He actually sent twenty one thousand dollars.” I paused long enough for my words to have the desire impact I was hoping for and it did.

Jeanne eye’s nearly popped out of her sunken face while wonder boy was staring at me licking his thin lips.  “Twenty thousand to be used on college while the thousand is to be used however I would like to use it.” I finished satisfied with knocking her down a few notches.

 She however did not look like she was intimidated by my discovery, she looked pissed.  Jeanne took another staggering step forward so her face was inches from mine. I turned my head to the side to escape the rancid odor of her whiskey soaked breath.

“Where is it Christy?” She demanded.

I smiled. “The money is somewhere safe. Some place where you can’t get your greedy little fingers on another dime of my money mother.”

A set of car lights washed over her face. I could see the fear clearly now mixed with a burning rage. “Why you ungrateful little bitch!” she screamed at me. “You are going to give me my fair cut of that money!” she threatened.

I shook my head. “I think you’ve helped yourself to enough of my money mother! How many thousands of dollars have you extorted from me over the years?” I paused taking a calming breath of air. “I’ve seen the countless letters, pictures, cards sent to me over the years Jeanne. I also seen the banks statements including your timely withdraws from my account.”

Boy wonder cleared his throat. “I am going inside Jeanne.” He looked over at me. “This is getting too intense for me.” He backed away.

She didn’t even turn her head to acknowledge him. She just kept her cold dead stare locked on me. I heard gravel crunching behind me then felt a hand on my back. I looked over my shoulder to see Jake standing there with his eyes locked on my mother.

“Is everything okay here Christy? Jake asked.

I nodded. “It will be when I finished what I can here to say.”

Jake moved up until he was standing directly beside me. I turned back to Jeanne who was still locked in her death stare. “If you would have used one penny of that money you stole from me for the betterment of our family, then maybe I would feel differently but you didn’t. You left me hungry, in rags, and  living in a-hovel.”

She didn’t say anything. She just kept staring.

“What kind of mother does that intentionally to their child? What kind of person treats another human being like you treated me growing up? How many times did I beg you for better clothes or shoes that fit? How many times did I have to go digging through donation boxes at churches to find coats or clothes?

Do you know how many countless nights I’ve gone to bed with nothing but water in my stomach while you were out here spending money on whiskey that should have gone to food?” I screamed.

Still she said nothing. She just stared.

“I came here tonight to confront you but I also came here to tell you that I forgive you for what you have done. “  I sighed when she still said nothing in return.

“I however don’t want to see you again. I will be going home tonight but it’ll be long enough to retrieve my clothing and personal items. I will stay in a motel for the night. In the morning I will be going down to the bank to shut off your access to my account.” I paused.

Jeanne blinked but didn’t say a word. Well at least I know something is getting through to her but how much is the question.  I cleared my throat. “I will be getting in contact with a lawyer and with my father about what transpired here.

I want only one thing from you Jeanne and that’s for you to stay away from me now and in the future. After tonight do not contact me again. Do you understand me?” I waited but again she remained silent.

Jake placed his arm around my waist. “I don’t she is going to respond. We should probably just go.” He whispered in my ear. I nodded taking his other hand.

“Goodbye Jeanne. I hope life is better to you then you were to me.”  I said to the woman who spent more time being a stranger to me then she ever did being a mother.  Jake started to lead me away when finally a laugh erupted from Jeanne’s lips. The sound sent a wave of cold chills down my spine.

“You really think your better than me?” She snapped.

I shook my head. “No Jeanne I think you’re better than what you’ve become.” I replied as I continued to walk with Jake towards our cars.

“I got a visit from Tara Henderson today.” She shouted out.

I came to a halt. Tara Henderson is a nurse who works in Doctor Forester office. Why would she have come to the house?

“Do I have your attention now?” She asked smiling. “Tara dropped by the vitamins you left on the counter in your rush to get to graduation.” She added.

My breath caught.  She knows I am pregnant.

Jake turned to me. “What vitamins Christy? I thought you said everything was alright that it was hormonal.” He questioned.

Jeanne grinned. “It looks like Miss perfect is capable of telling a lie, a big one just like her mother.” She mocked.

“I am nothing like you Jeanne.” I responded shaking my head.

“What is she talking about Christy?” Jake eyed her suspiciously.

“I’ll tell you later. When were alone.” I replied not wanting to have this conversation now in front of my mother.

 “The vitamins are prenatal. She is pregnant.” Jeanne blurted out. “How do you think the folks around here are going to feel about you when they learn you ruined any chance Jake here had for a successful future?”

“Christy?” Jake pulled back. “Is she telling the truth?”

I tore off across the parking lot as tears blurred my eye sight. I nearly ran into a park car but turned just in time to squeeze in between it and another truck. I had made it half way to my car when Jake caught my arm.

“Christy!” Jake yelled. “Will you stop for just a minute please?”

I stopped closing my eyes. This is not how I wanted this to go. I wanted to break it to him slowly then explain why I lied to him about it in the first place.

“Christy?” He said my name again.

“Yes Jake, I am pregnant.” I wiped a couple of errand tears from my check as I turned to face him. “I didn’t want you to learn about it this way.”

He stood mouth open staring at me. “The test you took?” He mumbled.

“It was positive Jake. I lied to you earlier after I seen how excited you and your entire family was about you getting into college.” I explained.

He slid down the side of a car to the ground. He buried his head between his knees as the rest of him shook from the silent sobs that were racking his body. The sight nearly brought me down to my knees.

 “I’m sorry!” I whispered.

Jake raised his red tear streaked face. “Why? How could you lie to me?”

 “I never meant to hurt you Jake. I lied because I thought I’d be protecting you from this kind of life.” I waved my hand at the bar. “I didn’t want to see your life destroyed because of someone like me.” I added.

“You didn’t want to see my life destroyed by someone like you?” He shook his head. “Tell me Christy how is it that your any different than I am?” He asked pulling himself to his feet. “Did you cheat your way through high school or did you work just as hard as me? Did you purposely cause that condom to rip and get you pregnant? Are you saying that my dreams mean more than your own?”

I shook my head. “No I didn’t cheat or cause myself to get pregnant on purpose but that doesn’t mean we both need to give up our dreams.” I sighed. “Jake you are going to college in the fall. You are going to play ball for the team you’ve loved since you were two years old. Why should you throw it away for a baby? This is your lifetime dream Jake. It’s right there at your finger tips.”

Jake grabbed my hand. “What about your dreams?”

I smiled. “I’ll get new dreams Jake!”

“What are you saying? You don’t want me involved?” He questioned.

I let go of his hand. “Jake can we go someplace else and talk about this? I just don’t feel this is the right atmosphere to have this conversation.”

He shook his head. “According to you Christy this is the exact place we’d end up if I am involved in my child’s life. So why not have this conversation here.”

 “If you give up college to stay here for this baby you’ll ruin your entire life! What is the best thing that could happen? You end up going to the community college and get a job at the saw mills?”

“I could live with that!” He nodded his head. “It would at least be my choice.”

I threw up my hands in frustration.  “Could your father live with it? What about your mother would this be her choice for you?” I knew I was hit low but I needed him to see this clearly.  “What about Megan? Is this the example you want to set for her to live by?” I asked.

Jake hung his head. “This would break my father’s heart, my mother would probably cry for days and Megan would undoubtedly be upset with me.” He admitted.

“Why put them through it then?” I replied.

Jake held up his finger. “Let’s just say we did this your way. What would you do? You need money to raise a baby and a place to live.”

I pulled out the check my father had sent to me. “I have twenty thousand that was to fund my first semester in college. I could use it to take some courses at the community college in coding while I am pregnant. It’ll be enough to get a decent job enough to take care of me and the baby.”

“What about the people in this town? Don’t you think they will figure out it’s my baby and tell my parents?” He pointed out.

“I’ll be leaving here tomorrow to go find my dad. I don’t plan on coming back until at least fall. I will have been gone just long enough for people to believe the baby is by someone else.”

It was not a fool proof plan as at least three people in this town knows the truth but two are bound by doctor-patient privilege.  The third is a drunk who I am sure can be motivated to silence with a monetary incentive.

“What happens when I ran into you and our son or daughter someday? Will she or he know I am the father? Will I have to pretend I am just some stranger? How long do we keep this secret?” He fired one question after another at me.

I held my hand up to signal I need a minute.  My stomach was churning again. I lean against the side of my car closing my eyes. The emotional impact of everything that’s transpired in the last twenty four hours was finally catching up to me. I took a few calming breaths.

“Are you okay?” Jake asked coming up beside me.

 “Just a side effect of being pregnant I’ll be fine.” I assured.

It took a few minutes but finally the nausea passed. I look over at Jake; his face was a mask of anxiety and concern.  “I am okay now.” I whispered.

He relaxed immediately. “Does that happen often?”

I nodded. “It’s normal from what I’ve read.” I brushed my hair back. “I will tell the baby you are his or her father. You never have to act like a stranger if you don’t want too. I am not saying it always has to be this way. In time after college if you want to tell everyone then I am okay with that.” I offered.

“Do I have to decide this all tonight?” Jake asked.

I bit my bottom lip. “I kind of need an answer tonight on what you are planning on doing. If you are going to tell your parents and stay here or keep silent and go off to school in the fall like your suppose to do.”

 Jake nodded. “I am going to need a minute.” He muttered as he walked away.  I watch silently as he paced back and forth in front of his truck. I know to a lot of people they wouldn’t understand my reasoning but they never had to live the way I was forced to grow up.

My parents were in their final year of high school when Jeanne got pregnant with me. I remember overhearing arguments between them in the days leading up to dad’s disappearance. One time in particular Jeanne was drunk by the time my father came home from work. He was angry when he saw that I was standing on the counter trying to reach the peanut butter.

“Did you eat today?” He asked. I shook my head. He handed me the jar of peanut butter and the bread. “I’ll be back. Okay?” He asked me. I nodded. I made my sandwich while he yelled at Jeanne for drinking in bed all day and not taking care of me.

The part that sticks out the most in my mind especially today is what she said back to him. I was on my way to Yale before you knocked me up. My father forced me to marry you or else I would have aborted that thing and gone on with my life.” She spat at him. “I could have been someone!” She yelled as he stormed down the hall and out of the house.

 He yelled back. “You are somebody Jeanne. You are someone’s mother and wife.” Jeanne response was the sound of a whiskey bottle crashing against the wall. I shuddered as I thought about Jake becoming like my mother or even me.

 I don’t want that outcome for either of us or even the possibility of history repeating itself. I just hope Jake makes the right choice for his future.

My breath caught as Jake stalked toward me. “I am going to want letters from you while I am in college and pictures of the baby.  I am not okay being kept in the dark and I am going to want to see you both when I come home for break.” He grabbed my hand.  “The day I graduate we tell my parent.” He added.

My heart sunk a little. A small part of me hoped he would choose me. No Jake is making the right choice the better choice. I chastised myself for being selfish. I need him to be successful for the both of us and I want him to be happy.

 “Okay the day you graduate we tell them.” I agreed. 

Jake pulled me tight against his chest. “There is one more thing I want.”

“What’s that?” I whispered.

“I want to spend this last night with you.” He smiled.

I smiled back. “I’d like that very much.”

“Good! I have to run back to my house and pick up a graduation present I have been putting together for you in my spare time since Christmas.” He paused looking over at my car. “It’s not much but it’ll be better than that hunk of junk!”

“Jake you got me a car?”

 “My grandfather was selling his old car so I asked him if I could buy it from him. When he heard it was for you he just gave it to me and told me to fix it up real nice for such a sweet young lady.” He chuckled. “That’s grandpa for you!”

 “I don’t know what to say!”

“Just say you will love it!” Jake replied.

“I will love it!”

“Alright so I will run a few blocks that way. “ He pointed in the direction of his house. “Drop off my car and swap it out for yours then meet you at the trailer so you can leave that death trap there.” He added.

I planted a kiss on his cheek. “Sounds like a great plan to me!”

Jake pulled my door open. I slid in behind the wheel and looked at his wide grin and a sense that everything was going to be okay washed over me.

I turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life and stayed running the first try. I smiled. “I’ll see you in a few.”

“Okay! You drive safe.” He laughed. “You are carrying precious cargo now!”

“Ha-ha you’re very funny!” I replied.

“Christy?” He called.

“Yes Jake?”

“I forgot to tell you something.” He leaned in the window. “I forgot to say. I love you.” He whispered bring his lips down to meet mine.  It was a short kiss but it was a sweet one packed full of emotion.

“I love you too Jake.” I whispered back.

He lingered in the window looking down into my eyes for just another minute before slowly backing away. I waved once as I pulled out of the parking lot leaving the best guy in the world watching me drive away. It was all I could do not to break down and cry.

If this situation would have happen four years from now we’d probably be announcing our wedding. We are just too young for both of our lives to be cut off before it’s giving a chance to thrive. I was near the edge of town when O’Malley’s bed and breakfast sign caught my eye.

Mrs. O’Malley had always treated me kindly when I rode passed her place on the way into town. I couldn’t think of a better place to stay the night. I pulled up in front of the doors and hopped out leaving the engine running.

I hurried around the car to the front doors. The neon sign in the window flashed vacancy so I assumed they had at least one room available. I shrugged pulling open the door. There was a small desk just inside the door with a tiny bell.

A sign above said ring for service so I did then waited.

A few minutes passed before Karen O’Malley appeared around the corner.

“Good Heavens Christy you scared this old lady!” Mrs. O’Malley cried. “Did you ring the bell dear?” She point down at the desk.

“Yes I did.” I replied quietly.

Mrs. O’Malley nodded. “I probably didn’t hear it no doubt. Don’t ever get old Miss Christy.” She warned shaking her finger at me.

I smiled. “I’ll try to keep that in mind Mrs. O’Malley.”

.“What can I do for you Christy?” She looked past me out the door to where my car sat. “Are you having car problems dear?” She looked genuinely concerned.

 “I actually came by to see if you have a room available for the night.” I explained quickly.

“Oh my well yes I believe I have one of the cottages out back available. Let me see.” She held up her finger as she went over to the desk and paged down her book. She nodded. “I do. Cottage 3 it’s the one down by the corner.”

I smiled. “Perfect I will take it. How much do I owe you?”

Mrs. O’Malley held up her hand. “Are you running away from home dear?”

I shook my head. “I am not running away as much as coming to my senses.” I replied pulling out the wad of cash I had stash in my bra.

“If by senses you mean Jeanne Jacobs is a low down dirty woman then by all means child this one is on the house.” She stated with a huge grin.

“I have to pay for something.” I insisted when she placed the key in my hand.

“Child you have already paid dearly for having that as a mother. You have been taking care of yourself since you were this high.” She held her hands down just below her knees. “Let someone else take care of you for a night.”

“Thank you!” I cried. I gave her a great big hug then backed away towards the door. “I will be back shortly. I just have to go retrieve my stuff from that trailer.” I explained.

She waved her hands. “Take your time honey. We’re not going anywhere.”

I thank her one last time then hurried back out to my car. I was relieved to see that it hadn’t stalled out while I was inside. I pulled back onto the road and turned the radio up on full blast. I sang along with the radio the rest of the way down the road. I was just getting into the next song as I approached the last stretch before my turn off when suddenly the power dimed and the radio went silent.

I checked my gages but everything looked normal to me. I only have a few more yards to go before my turn off so I debated if I should pull off the road and wait for Jake to come by or push it. I decided to pull off the road just pass the upcoming intersection where there was a small outlet just on the other side where trucker’s park their rigs for the night.

I held my breath praying as I locked my eyes on the lot. I’d be safe there if I can make it through this four way.

I just about made it when there was a final surge of electrics then everything went dead including my engine. I shook my head. No! This can’t be happening not here and not right now! I turned the key over but nothing came from the engine, not even the grinding noises I’ve come accustom to.

 I tried again and again each time with more urgency then the last. I pounded my fist on the steering wheel. “Come on start damn it just long enough to get me to the other side!” I begged. A set of headlight flashed in my rearview mirror. My eyes widened with the realization the car was moving entirely too fast to slow down in time to miss me.

I had maybe three seconds before it would make impact. I wrapped my arms around my stomach. “I am sorry!” I whispered. 

Forsaken part 3 continued                                Email me