Forsaken Part One

Forsaken Part one:

The thunder of applause echoed across the gymnasium of Grant High school as Mr. Dawson announced the graduating class of 2013. I sat among my classmates starring out at the sea of happy faces but unlike my classmates there was no one out there cheering on my victory rank of being 2^nd of my class. There was nobody to call out my name in excitement as I walked across the stage to receive my diploma. I am finishing my school career the same way it began, completely and utterly alone.

My father Frank Jacobs went M.I.A when I was barely four years old. The only token of information I had on my father is that he liked betting on horses more than he liked his family. A point my mother Jeanne likes to bring to my attention on a fairly regular basis. She also likes to point out the fact she never wanted to be a mother in the first place yet was saddled with the burden of raising me all on her own.  Truthfully the only thing my mother ever raised is a glass bottle to her lips.

 In fact I would be willing to bet my dear wonderful loving mother can be found at this very minute sitting on a barstool down at Hopper’s tavern.  Hooper’s is a dirty little hole-in-the-wall barely suitable for human habitation of any kind. My mother however prefers to spend more than half her life in that bar. 

I’ve had the unfortunate repeated honor of retrieving her from there many of times over the last eight years of my life. I shuddered recalling the hungry stares from some of the more seedy male patrons as I attempted to wake my mother who had embarrassingly enough passed out on top of the jukebox last night. This was a new all-time low even for her.

“Christy Jacobs” Mr. Dawson called out.  

The sound of my name jolted me back to the present. I blinked as Matthew Kenny elbow me in the side. “Hey space cadet you’re up!” he whispered. I carefully made my way across the stage to where Mr. Dawson stood tapping his foot the way he does when he disapproves of someone behavior.

I’ve seen a lot of that foot tapping lately. My last few months have been chalked full of late arrivals or early departures, and quite a few late assignments. I am lucky my teachers took it easy on me. I only ended up dropping one ranking position instead of twenty or more.

Mr. Dawson practically shoved the diploma into my hand. “Congratulations Miss. Jacobs. I do hope you make better use of your time in the near future.” He nodded then turned to pull the next diploma off the table next to him.

Well so much for ending the year on a positive note. I made my way to the other side of the stage to wait with the rest of my classmates. After a round of best wishes for a bright and successful future from the staff at Grant High School we were finally dismissed.

 I sat back in my chair for a moment just to observe what true happiness looked like on faces of my friends. How I wish my life could be a simple as theirs, and as happy. I turned to watch Jake Jennings, my on again-off again boyfriend.  He has been one of the long shining spots of my miserable existence. Even so I managed to destroy that as well.

 “Congrats Christy, thanks again for all the help in chemistry. I really hope everything works out for you and Jake- you two make a great couple when you’re not fighting.” Matthew shouted.

“Thanks Matthew, good luck at UCLA next year!” I shouted back. He held two thumbs up, laughed, and then disappeared into the crowd. 

I am really going to miss Matthew; he is about the only other guy besides Jake that’s treated me decent these four years. I turned to face Jake just as his little sister Megan came rushing onto the stage. I smiled watching her soft blonde pigtails swing back and forth as she leapt into his arms.

Megan is a vibrant, intelligent, and sassy first grader who loves her older brother more than anything else in this world. Jake likes to complain a lot about Megan getting underfoot but in reality he adores her as much as she does him. A minute later they were joined on stage by their parents Nathan and Joyce Jennings.

 The Jennings’s are two of the best people I have ever met. Mr. Jennings is loving, kind, and a devoted husband and father. Mrs. Jennings’s is loving, thoughtful, and generous. She also makes the best apple pie in all of Hampton Cove. They are the kind of parents all kids deserve to have but few rarely get.  If I had been able to hand pick a family, the Jennings would have been it.  

. An overwhelming sense of guilty flooded me as I looked at them all smiling and hugging each other in great joy. In a few short hours this perfect little family’s world will be turned upside down because of me.

As if he knew, I was thinking about him, Jake turned his head meeting my gaze. In his eyes I could see the question that has been lingering between us all day. He lowered his sister to the stage beside him as he said a few words to his father.

A moment later the four of them were walking across the stage. My breath caught in my throat as they came to a stop in front of me.

“Hey! Congrats Christy, we did it!” Jake said with a chuckle. He gave me a short hug before pulling back with a wide smile on his face. Mr. Jennings patted his son on the back while smiling down on me.

“I’m proud of you both. Congratulations Christy.”

I blushed. “Thanks Mr. Jennings.”

“We are fixing to go out to lunch to celebrate Jake’s accomplishment. We would love for you to join us, and allow us to celebrate your accomplishments as well.” Mrs. Jennings offered.

I widened my eye’s “Oh no! I could not possibly intrude in this special family occasion. I really should go straight home. My mother probably has some elaborate affair planned.” I replied.

Mr. and Mrs. Jennings exchanged a look between them before Mr. Jennings turned to me shaking his head. “Don’t be silly Christy you would be far from intruding on anything! We really do wish for you to join us, and I am positive your mother’s plans will wait for your arrival.” He looked over at his wife and smiled.

I could see by the looking in his eyes he knew just where my mother could be found, and nothing special was waiting for me at home but a big empty trailer with an even emptier refrigerator. He was just to kind to point out whatever one else in town already knew, my mother was a no good rotten low life barfly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Okay, a small bite couldn’t hurt much.” I reluctantly agreed.  

Mr. Jennings nodded in approval; just then Megan decided to dart off the stage chasing after a blue balloon that Jake had handed her to play with. We all laughed as she began pushing through the groups of people in search of her balloon.

“Excuse me while I go rescue the good people of Hampton Cove from the adventurous Megan.” Mr. Jennings chuckled as he went down the side steps and into the crowd.

 “Alright, I will see you kids at Camilla’s in a short while” She waved before starting down off the stage. She paused on the last step turning back. “Drive safe Jake, the traffic is terrible today!” She added then rushed off to catch up with Mr. Jennings.

Once she was safely out of ear shot Jake turned to me. “Did you do it yet?” He met my eyes. I looked around at the closely gathered groups.

“Can we talk about this later?” I pleaded.

Jake nodded. “How about we talk in the car on the way?”

I sighed. “Sure why not?”

I don’t know why he was in such a hurry to find out the answer, when it has the potential to end both of our futures. I know the answer but wish more than anything I didn’t.

I let Jake take my hand and lead me through the groups of people taking pictures with their favorite graduate. I smiled at a few people I recognized, some smiled back and waved, while others rolled their eyes or scowled at me. Just one of the many perks of having the town drunk as your mother.

I let out a sigh of relief, as we stepped out into the parking lot. The cool spring breeze felt amazing against my face.

“Jake!” Megan squealed running across the parking lot.

Jake’s face immediately lit up. “Hey squirt!”

Mrs. Jennings giggled. “Sorry she insisted on riding with the two of you.”

“Shot gun!” Megan yelled out causing us all to laugh.

“Now Megan, you know Christy gets to sit up front when she is riding with me.” Jake lightly chastised.

Megan twisted her lips. “Oh-okay” She reluctantly agreed.

Mrs. Jennings waved from the passenger seat of their dodge minivan, as Jake helped Megan into the back seat of his truck. I settled into the passenger seat just as he finished securing Megan’s belt.

“I guess our conversation is going to have to be postponed.” He stated climbing in beside me. I nodded, secretly relieved that I had some more time to prepare for the fallout that would surely follow. All the way to the restaurant Megan excitedly told us about her new friend Dana, who she met at Sunday school this week.

Dana as it turns out is the same age as Megan, and lives two streets over and apparently loves watching Clifford the big red dog just like Megan does. When she was talked out about Dana she switched over to telling us all about the new pet turtle her class had got last week as a gift from the Hampton Zoo.

“We named him speedy!” She giggled. “Get it? Speedy-ha”

Jake and I both couldn’t help but laugh. Megan with her endless supply of energy was exactly the distraction we both had needed. The amount of cars in Camilla’s parking lot was a clear indication most had opted for a lunch out to celebrate.  Mr. and Mrs. Jennings luckily were already seated in a booth when we came through the front doors otherwise we could have an hour or more wait time.

   Megan squeezed in the booth next to her parents while Jake and I took the bench across from them.   “I hope nobody minds, I took the liberty of ordering everyone a steak, baked potato, and a fresh garden salad.” Mr. Jennings stated folding his hands on top of the table.

Megan scowled. “Daddy, I don’t eat cows!”

 “I know. I ordered you a grilled cheese sandwich with fries, and a milk shake.” Mr. Jennings winked.

Megan grinned. “I can live with that.”

For the second time that afternoon we all laughed together. After that the tension I had been carrying around all day seemed to ease slightly. Mrs. Jennings told some stories about some of the people she encountered throughout the week during her hours volunteering at the food kitchen.

I found the stories fascinating and nearly wept for the little girl whose mother lost her job, car, then finally their home but still found away to make her daughter feel like a princess. If only my mother would have had that kind of spunk. If she did maybe our lives could have been a little better despite the circumstances.

Mr. Jennings picking up on everyone’s sad tone following Mrs. Jennings story change the subject to a happier note and announced that he had gotten a promotion at work.

“Well this truly is a special day!” Mrs. Jennings remarked as she signaled for the waitress. “We must have cake to celebrate all our good fortune.” She added.

A few minutes later my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as the waitress sat down a large slice of chocolate cake with inch thick chocolate frosting down in front of me. I’ve had more food during this one lunch then I’ve eaten in the last week.

“Did Jake here tell you his wonderful news?” Mr. Jennings asked beaming a proud smile over at his son.

I shook my head. “What kind of news Jake?”

A wide grin broke across his lips. “I got my acceptance letter for NDU, yesterday in the mail.” He admitted.

“Tell Christy the best part Jake!” His mother chimed in.

Jake laughed. “I got accepted with a full scholarship, and I get to play on the offensive line for my favorite team!”

Mr. Jennings clapped his hands together. “That’s right! My boy gets to play ball for the fighting Falcons!” He shouted.

Cheers and applause erupted from all around us, and before long people were coming over to shake Jake’s hand or wish him good luck. I sunk back further into the booth as the feeling of guilty wash over me again. How could I possibly be the one that took this away from them all?

Jake worked hard to make the grades to be accepted into Northern Dumont University. He also never missed one practice or sat out one game all four years he played for the Grant high Bobcats.  NDU is Jake’s dream school.

 I looked over at Mr. Jennings face filled with so much pride for his son and broke inside. I just can’t destroy this wonderful family. I sat back placing my fork on the table. I knew what I had to do; I just pray I have the strength to follow through with it.  “Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Jennings for such a wonderful lunch. I should probably be getting home.” I nodded at Jake.

“Oh Christy there is no reason to thank us dear! We are pleased Jake found someone so sweet and caring.” Mrs. Jennings replied smiling over at her husband.

“Joyce is right, Christy, you are family in our eyes.” Mr. Jennings replied winking over at me. Tears stung my eyes as I fought to keep an even voice.

“Thanks.” I managed to choke out.

“I’ll see you guys at home. Thanks again Mom and Dad.” Jake said as he leaned over to give his parents a hug. I thanked them again for inviting me to lunch then waved to Megan as Jake took my hand and led us out of the restaurant. We were half way to the car before Jake broke the silence between us.

“Do you really need to get home?” He asked.

 “I have a lot to do before Jeanne gets home.” My Voice sounded flat. Jake didn’t seem to notice it though. He released my hand as we approached the car.  I went around to the passenger side and waited while he unlocked his door. Once inside he reached over to unlock my door.

I closed my eyes said a short prayer then climbed inside. Jake waved out the window to Megan who had her face pressed up against the window as we backed out of the lot. I felt a wave of sadness building as I watched her little face disappear. After this ride things will never be the same again.

 I took a deep breath then forced myself to face Jake. “The question you asked me earlier.” I paused to gather the strength it was going to take to lie to him.

“Did you take the test?” He asked keeping his eyes on the road.

“Yes I did.” I swallowed. “It was negative.”

Jake let out a long sigh of relief. “I think that’s the best news I’ve heard all day!”He exclaimed.

A grin broke across his lips that stretched from one ear over to the next. I looked out the passenger window so that he would not see the tears forming in my eyes. I hated lying to him but I hated the thought of ruining his life more.

 What I was about to do would hurt him for a little while but not as much as raising a child for the next eighteen years would do.

“Yeah it was a relief this morning when I got the results.” I added playing into his enthusiasm.

“I bet. Did Dr. Forester say why you’re so late?” He looked over at me.

I shrugged. “He said something about hormones. I was too relieved to pay much attention to anything else.” Actually I cried for an hour and half while the nurse went over dietary restrictions, and set up an appointment for an ultrasound, but I couldn’t exactly explain that to him.  

 “Well that makes sense!” he paused. “Whew that was a close one!”

I closed my eyes drawing on what little strength I had left to finish what I knew had to be done tonight. I focused on the flashes of houses going by to keep calm but as we rounded the corner of my street I knew my time was about up.

It was now or never.  “Jake I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” I blurted out. It’s not the way I intended to say it but at the last minute I panicked.  

Jake blinked. A long silence proceeded until we came to a stop in front of my poorly lit trailer. He shut off the car.  “Why?” He finally asked.

“You’re going to be going away to NDU in a couple of months. The last thing you need to be worried about is having a girlfriend back here in Hampton Cove, South Carolina.” I answered.

“Christy I don’t leave until fall. Why now?”

“I just think it’ll be a lot easier on us both if we part ways now. What is the point of spending another summer together if we know it’s coming to an end?” I nodded liking my reasoning. It was good. “There is no use in delaying the inevitable.” I added.

Jake laid his head back against the seat as he strummed the steering wheel with his fingers. “Don’t I get a say in this at all?” He sat forward. “Maybe I want to worry about you back here in Hampton. Maybe I want to come back here on breaks and spend time with my girlfriend and my family!

 Did you think about that at all Christy? When you were making all these decisions for me did you take into consideration that I love you?”

“I-I can’t do this.” I jumped out of the car.  I started up the dirty path when I heard his door open. “Christy, wait! Don’t leave it like this between us.” He shouted.

I paused but I didn’t turn around.

“Go home Jake.” I kept my eyes locked on the door of my trailer. I heard the sound of gravel crunching behind me. I was going to have to really hurt him to get him to leave.

“Christy, you know deep down we are meant to be together. You really don’t want this to end.” He pleaded. I shook my head as tears dripped off my chin.

 “I met someone else Jake.” I replied loud enough for him to hear me but low enough that my voice didn’t crack.

“What?” I could hear the astonishment in his tone. “I don’t believe you.”

I closed my eyes. “I am Jeanne’s daughter Jake. I am capable of many things.”

I heard the sharp intake of air. “Well isn’t that great?” Jake slammed his fists off the hood of his truck. “Here I am being a fool. I actually thought you loved me.”  He added before slamming the door shut. I stood waiting for the sound of the engine to fire up before whispering to myself softly.

“I do love you Jake which is precisely why I had to let you go.” I waited until he pulled away before continuing into the trailer. Just as I expected there was no signs of my mother or that she had been home since I left to go to the doctors this morning.  I pulled the mail out of the slot in the door, and threw it onto the kitchen counter.

 An   enveloped address to me fell onto the floor. I picked it up slowly as my hands started to shake in the upper left corner was the name Frank P Jacobs. I sat down on one of the rickety wooden chairs next to the even more rickety kitchen table. I stared down at the yellow envelop. Could this really be from my father? The man who left me?

What could dear old no show dad want after all these years? Is he finally having a crisis of conscience for abandoning his daughter? Well let’s just see. I slowly tore back the paper with trembling fingers, took a deep breath then pulled out a card. The card featured a black cap over a white diploma with the words CONGRATULATIONS across the top. I shook my head, how could he possibly know that today was my graduation? Yeah, he could have done the math but to have the card arrive on the actually day? No, that couldn’t have been a coincidence!

I opened the card removing a handwritten note along with a stack of ten one hundred dollar bills, and a check made out to me for twenty thousand dollars. Wait-twenty thousand? Why would a man who has absolutely nothing to do with me since I was four years old send me a check for twenty thousand dollars? How did he even come up with this kind of cash? I sat the items aside and finished reading the card.

It was the stereotypical hallmark greeting card. What I found amusing however was the carefully penned “Sorry I couldn’t be there for your big day!” Love: Dad. Who the heck is he kidding? I sat the card down the table and eyed the letter. I had to admit it definitely has my interest peeked. I carefully unfolded the letter then began reading it out loud.

Christy,

As I sit write this letter, I am starring at the picture of you that is now displayed proudly on my desk. Please thank your mother for sending me this memento of your final year in high school. It arrived unscathed last week. I don’t believe either your mother or I could have imagined what a beautiful young woman you’ve turn out to be. We are truly blessed to have you as a daughter!

My heart is heavy with so much pride today after speaking with your principal Mr. Dawson who informed me that you my daughter are to graduate 2^nd in your class with honors. I was dishearten when I learned that despite many offers from schools all across this country, you’ve elected to take night classes from the community college there in Hampton Cove.

I am no mind reader, but I do suspect this choice was based on financial issues. I would like to ease that burden of concern for you. As you can see I made out a check payable to you for twenty thousand dollars. I would like you to use this money for your first semester at any school of your choice. Once I receive confirmation on what school you have chosen, I will continue to issue a check each semester until your completion of college.

I do hope the trust payments will be enough for you to continue to live comfortable while attending classes. I do understand that with college comes higher expenses then you’ve had the last four years, so please do let me know if any adjustments in the amounts are warranted.

As you know I am always available to you any time day or night. Congratulations baby! I am so proud of my baby girl! Your brother’s Jack and Connor send their love, as do I and Lilly. I love you so much.

 Love, Dad

I dropped the letter to the table as I rocked back in my chair trying hard to absorb everything that had been crammed into that short note. When had he contacted my mother about me? She never said anything about hearing from him, not even in her drunken rants. What kind of trust payments is he talking about?

 As far as I knew he up until now has never sent my mother so much as a dime. I sorted through the rest of mail stopping on an envelope from Delta Bank & Trust. It was sent to me but in care of my mother. What if she has been lying to me all this time?

TO BE CONTINUED

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