Forsaken Part one:
The thunder of applause echoed across the gymnasium
of Grant High school as Mr. Dawson announced the graduating class of 2013. I
sat among my classmates starring out at the sea of happy faces but unlike my
classmates there was no one out there cheering on my victory rank of being 2nd
of my class. There was nobody to call out my name in excitement as I walked
across the stage to receive my diploma. I am finishing my school career the
same way it began, completely and utterly alone.
My father Frank Jacobs went M.I.A when I was barely
four years old. The only token of information I had on my father is that he
liked betting on horses more than he liked his family. A point my mother Jeanne
likes to bring to my attention on a fairly regular basis. She also likes to
point out the fact she never wanted to be a mother in the first place yet was
saddled with the burden of raising me all on her own. Truthfully the only thing my mother ever
raised is a glass bottle to her lips.
In fact I
would be willing to bet my dear wonderful loving mother can be found at this
very minute sitting on a barstool down at Hopper’s tavern. Hooper’s is a dirty little hole-in-the-wall
barely suitable for human habitation of any kind. My mother however prefers to
spend more than half her life in that bar.
I’ve had the unfortunate repeated honor of
retrieving her from there many of times over the last eight years of my life. I
shuddered recalling the hungry stares from some of the more seedy male patrons
as I attempted to wake my mother who had embarrassingly enough passed out on
top of the jukebox last night. This was a new all-time low even for her.
“Christy Jacobs” Mr. Dawson called out.
The sound of my name jolted me back to the present.
I blinked as Matthew Kenny elbow me in the side. “Hey space cadet you’re up!”
he whispered. I carefully made my way across the stage to where Mr. Dawson
stood tapping his foot the way he does when he disapproves of someone behavior.
I’ve seen a lot of that foot tapping lately. My
last few months have been chalked full of late arrivals or early departures,
and quite a few late assignments. I am lucky my teachers took it easy on me. I
only ended up dropping one ranking position instead of twenty or more.
Mr. Dawson practically shoved the diploma into my
hand. “Congratulations Miss. Jacobs. I do hope you make better use of your time
in the near future.” He nodded then turned to pull the next diploma off the
table next to him.
Well so much for ending the year on a positive
note. I made my way to the other side of the stage to wait with the rest of my
classmates. After a round of best wishes for a bright and successful future
from the staff at Grant High School we were finally dismissed.
I sat back
in my chair for a moment just to observe what true happiness looked like on
faces of my friends. How I wish my life could be a simple as theirs, and as
happy. I turned to watch Jake Jennings, my on again-off again boyfriend. He has been one of the long shining spots of
my miserable existence. Even so I managed to destroy that as well.
“Congrats
Christy, thanks again for all the help in chemistry. I really hope everything
works out for you and Jake- you two make a great couple when you’re not
fighting.” Matthew shouted.
“Thanks Matthew, good luck at UCLA next year!” I
shouted back. He held two thumbs up, laughed, and then disappeared into the
crowd.
I am really going to miss Matthew; he is about the
only other guy besides Jake that’s treated me decent these four years. I turned
to face Jake just as his little sister Megan came rushing onto the stage. I
smiled watching her soft blonde pigtails swing back and forth as she leapt into
his arms.
Megan is a vibrant, intelligent, and sassy first
grader who loves her older brother more than anything else in this world. Jake
likes to complain a lot about Megan getting underfoot but in reality he adores
her as much as she does him. A minute later they were joined on stage by their
parents Nathan and Joyce Jennings.
The Jennings’s
are two of the best people I have ever met. Mr. Jennings is loving, kind, and a
devoted husband and father. Mrs. Jennings’s is loving, thoughtful, and generous.
She also makes the best apple pie in all of Hampton Cove. They are the kind of
parents all kids deserve to have but few rarely get. If I had been able to hand pick a family, the
Jennings would have been it.
. An overwhelming sense of guilty flooded me as I
looked at them all smiling and hugging each other in great joy. In a few short
hours this perfect little family’s world will be turned upside down because of
me.
As if he knew, I was thinking about him, Jake
turned his head meeting my gaze. In his eyes I could see the question that has
been lingering between us all day. He lowered his sister to the stage beside
him as he said a few words to his father.
A moment later the four of them were walking across
the stage. My breath caught in my throat as they came to a stop in front of me.
“Hey! Congrats Christy, we did it!” Jake said with
a chuckle. He gave me a short hug before pulling back with a wide smile on his
face. Mr. Jennings patted his son on the back while smiling down on me.
“I’m proud of you both. Congratulations Christy.”
I blushed. “Thanks Mr. Jennings.”
“We are fixing to go out to lunch to celebrate
Jake’s accomplishment. We would love for you to join us, and allow us to
celebrate your accomplishments as well.” Mrs. Jennings offered.
I widened my eye’s “Oh no! I could not possibly
intrude in this special family occasion. I really should go straight home. My
mother probably has some elaborate affair planned.” I replied.
Mr. and Mrs. Jennings exchanged a look between them
before Mr. Jennings turned to me shaking his head. “Don’t be silly Christy you
would be far from intruding on anything! We really do wish for you to join us,
and I am positive your mother’s plans will wait for your arrival.” He looked
over at his wife and smiled.
I could see by the looking in his eyes he knew just
where my mother could be found, and nothing special was waiting for me at home
but a big empty trailer with an even emptier refrigerator. He was just to kind
to point out whatever one else in town already knew, my mother was a no good
rotten low life barfly.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Okay, a small
bite couldn’t hurt much.” I reluctantly agreed.
Mr. Jennings nodded in approval; just then Megan
decided to dart off the stage chasing after a blue balloon that Jake had handed
her to play with. We all laughed as she began pushing through the groups of
people in search of her balloon.
“Excuse me while I go rescue the good people of
Hampton Cove from the adventurous Megan.” Mr. Jennings chuckled as he went down
the side steps and into the crowd.
“Alright, I
will see you kids at Camilla’s in a short while” She waved before starting down
off the stage. She paused on the last step turning back. “Drive safe Jake, the
traffic is terrible today!” She added then rushed off to catch up with Mr.
Jennings.
Once she was safely out of ear shot Jake turned to
me. “Did you do it yet?” He met my eyes. I looked around at the closely
gathered groups.
“Can we talk about this later?” I pleaded.
Jake nodded. “How about we talk in the car on the
way?”
I sighed. “Sure why not?”
I don’t know why he was in such a hurry to find out
the answer, when it has the potential to end both of our futures. I know the
answer but wish more than anything I didn’t.
I let Jake take my hand and lead me through the
groups of people taking pictures with their favorite graduate. I smiled at a
few people I recognized, some smiled back and waved, while others rolled their
eyes or scowled at me. Just one of the many perks of having the town drunk as
your mother.
I let out a sigh of relief, as we stepped out into
the parking lot. The cool spring breeze felt amazing against my face.
“Jake!” Megan squealed running across the parking
lot.
Jake’s face immediately lit up. “Hey squirt!”
Mrs. Jennings giggled. “Sorry she insisted on
riding with the two of you.”
“Shot gun!” Megan yelled out causing us all to
laugh.
“Now Megan, you know Christy gets to sit up front
when she is riding with me.” Jake lightly chastised.
Megan twisted her lips. “Oh-okay” She reluctantly
agreed.
Mrs. Jennings waved from the passenger seat of their
dodge minivan, as Jake helped Megan into the back seat of his truck. I settled
into the passenger seat just as he finished securing Megan’s belt.
“I guess our conversation is going to have to be
postponed.” He stated climbing in beside me. I nodded, secretly relieved that I
had some more time to prepare for the fallout that would surely follow. All the
way to the restaurant Megan excitedly told us about her new friend Dana, who
she met at Sunday school this week.
Dana as it turns out is the same age as Megan, and
lives two streets over and apparently loves watching Clifford the big red dog
just like Megan does. When she was talked out about Dana she switched over to
telling us all about the new pet turtle her class had got last week as a gift from
the Hampton Zoo.
“We named him speedy!” She giggled. “Get it?
Speedy-ha”
Jake and I both couldn’t help but laugh. Megan with
her endless supply of energy was exactly the distraction we both had needed. The
amount of cars in Camilla’s parking lot was a clear indication most had opted
for a lunch out to celebrate. Mr. and
Mrs. Jennings luckily were already seated in a booth when we came through the
front doors otherwise we could have an hour or more wait time.
Megan
squeezed in the booth next to her parents while Jake and I took the bench
across from them. “I hope nobody minds, I took the liberty of
ordering everyone a steak, baked potato, and a fresh garden salad.” Mr.
Jennings stated folding his hands on top of the table.
Megan scowled. “Daddy, I don’t eat cows!”
“I know. I
ordered you a grilled cheese sandwich with fries, and a milk shake.” Mr.
Jennings winked.
Megan grinned. “I can live with that.”
For the second time that afternoon we all laughed
together. After that the tension I had been carrying around all day seemed to
ease slightly. Mrs. Jennings told some stories about some of the people she
encountered throughout the week during her hours volunteering at the food
kitchen.
I found the stories fascinating and nearly wept for
the little girl whose mother lost her job, car, then finally their home but
still found away to make her daughter feel like a princess. If only my mother
would have had that kind of spunk. If she did maybe our lives could have been a
little better despite the circumstances.
Mr. Jennings picking up on everyone’s sad tone
following Mrs. Jennings story change the subject to a happier note and
announced that he had gotten a promotion at work.
“Well this truly is a special day!” Mrs. Jennings remarked
as she signaled for the waitress. “We must have cake to celebrate all our good
fortune.” She added.
A few minutes later my eyes nearly popped out of
their sockets as the waitress sat down a large slice of chocolate cake with
inch thick chocolate frosting down in front of me. I’ve had more food during
this one lunch then I’ve eaten in the last week.
“Did Jake here tell you his wonderful news?” Mr. Jennings
asked beaming a proud smile over at his son.
I shook my head. “What kind of news Jake?”
A wide grin broke across his lips. “I got my acceptance
letter for NDU, yesterday in the mail.” He admitted.
“Tell Christy the best part Jake!” His mother
chimed in.
Jake laughed. “I got accepted with a full
scholarship, and I get to play on the offensive line for my favorite team!”
Mr. Jennings clapped his hands together. “That’s
right! My boy gets to play ball for the fighting Falcons!” He shouted.
Cheers and applause erupted from all around us, and
before long people were coming over to shake Jake’s hand or wish him good luck.
I sunk back further into the booth as the feeling of guilty wash over me again.
How could I possibly be the one that took this away from them all?
Jake worked hard to make the grades to be accepted
into Northern Dumont University. He also never missed one practice or sat out
one game all four years he played for the Grant high Bobcats. NDU is Jake’s dream school.
I looked
over at Mr. Jennings face filled with so much pride for his son and broke
inside. I just can’t destroy this wonderful family. I sat back placing my fork
on the table. I knew what I had to do; I just pray I have the strength to
follow through with it. “Thank you Mr.
and Mrs. Jennings for such a wonderful lunch. I should probably be getting
home.” I nodded at Jake.
“Oh Christy there is no reason to thank us dear! We
are pleased Jake found someone so sweet and caring.” Mrs. Jennings replied
smiling over at her husband.
“Joyce is right, Christy, you are family in our
eyes.” Mr. Jennings replied winking over at me. Tears stung my eyes as I fought
to keep an even voice.
“Thanks.” I managed to choke out.
“I’ll see you guys at home. Thanks again Mom and
Dad.” Jake said as he leaned over to give his parents a hug. I thanked them
again for inviting me to lunch then waved to Megan as Jake took my hand and led
us out of the restaurant. We were half way to the car before Jake broke the silence
between us.
“Do you really need to get home?” He asked.
“I have a
lot to do before Jeanne gets home.” My Voice sounded flat. Jake didn’t seem to
notice it though. He released my hand as we approached the car. I went around to the passenger side and waited
while he unlocked his door. Once inside he reached over to unlock my door.
I closed my eyes said a short prayer then climbed
inside. Jake waved out the window to Megan who had her face pressed up against
the window as we backed out of the lot. I felt a wave of sadness building as I
watched her little face disappear. After this ride things will never be the
same again.
I took a
deep breath then forced myself to face Jake. “The question you asked me
earlier.” I paused to gather the strength it was going to take to lie to him.
“Did you take the test?” He asked keeping his eyes
on the road.
“Yes I did.” I swallowed. “It was negative.”
Jake let out a long sigh of relief. “I think that’s
the best news I’ve heard all day!”He exclaimed.
A grin broke across his lips that stretched from
one ear over to the next. I looked out the passenger window so that he would
not see the tears forming in my eyes. I hated lying to him but I hated the
thought of ruining his life more.
What I was
about to do would hurt him for a little while but not as much as raising a
child for the next eighteen years would do.
“Yeah it was a relief this morning when I got the
results.” I added playing into his enthusiasm.
“I bet. Did Dr. Forester say why you’re so late?”
He looked over at me.
I shrugged. “He said something about hormones. I
was too relieved to pay much attention to anything else.” Actually I cried for
an hour and half while the nurse went over dietary restrictions, and set up an
appointment for an ultrasound, but I couldn’t exactly explain that to him.
“Well that
makes sense!” he paused. “Whew that was a close one!”
I closed my eyes drawing on what little strength I
had left to finish what I knew had to be done tonight. I focused on the flashes
of houses going by to keep calm but as we rounded the corner of my street I
knew my time was about up.
It was now or never. “Jake I don’t think we should see each other
anymore.” I blurted out. It’s not the way I intended to say it but at the last
minute I panicked.
Jake blinked. A long silence proceeded until we
came to a stop in front of my poorly lit trailer. He shut off the car. “Why?” He finally asked.
“You’re going to be going away to NDU in a couple
of months. The last thing you need to be worried about is having a girlfriend
back here in Hampton Cove, South Carolina.” I answered.
“Christy I don’t leave until fall. Why now?”
“I just think it’ll be a lot easier on us both if
we part ways now. What is the point of spending another summer together if we
know it’s coming to an end?” I nodded liking my reasoning. It was good. “There
is no use in delaying the inevitable.” I added.
Jake laid his head back against the seat as he
strummed the steering wheel with his fingers. “Don’t I get a say in this at
all?” He sat forward. “Maybe I want to worry about you back here in Hampton.
Maybe I want to come back here on breaks and spend time with my girlfriend and
my family!
Did you
think about that at all Christy? When you were making all these decisions for
me did you take into consideration that I love you?”
“I-I can’t do this.” I jumped out of the car. I started up the dirty path when I heard his
door open. “Christy, wait! Don’t leave it like this between us.” He shouted.
I paused but I didn’t turn around.
“Go home Jake.” I kept my eyes locked on the door
of my trailer. I heard the sound of gravel crunching behind me. I was going to
have to really hurt him to get him to leave.
“Christy, you know deep down we are meant to be
together. You really don’t want this to end.” He pleaded. I shook my head as
tears dripped off my chin.
“I met
someone else Jake.” I replied loud enough for him to hear me but low enough
that my voice didn’t crack.
“What?” I could hear the astonishment in his tone. “I
don’t believe you.”
I closed my eyes. “I am Jeanne’s daughter Jake. I
am capable of many things.”
I heard the sharp intake of air. “Well isn’t that
great?” Jake slammed his fists off the hood of his truck. “Here I am being a
fool. I actually thought you loved me.”
He added before slamming the door shut. I stood waiting for the sound of
the engine to fire up before whispering to myself softly.
“I do love you Jake which is precisely why I had to
let you go.” I waited until he pulled away before continuing into the trailer.
Just as I expected there was no signs of my mother or that she had been home
since I left to go to the doctors this morning.
I pulled the mail out of the slot in the door, and threw it onto the
kitchen counter.
An enveloped
address to me fell onto the floor. I picked it up slowly as my hands started to
shake in the upper left corner was the name Frank P Jacobs. I sat down on one
of the rickety wooden chairs next to the even more rickety kitchen table. I
stared down at the yellow envelop. Could this really be from my father? The man
who left me?
What could dear old no show dad want after all
these years? Is he finally having a crisis of conscience for abandoning his
daughter? Well let’s just see. I slowly tore back the paper with trembling
fingers, took a deep breath then pulled out a card. The card featured a black
cap over a white diploma with the words CONGRATULATIONS across the top. I shook
my head, how could he possibly know that today was my graduation? Yeah, he
could have done the math but to have the card arrive on the actually day? No,
that couldn’t have been a coincidence!
I opened the card removing a handwritten note along
with a stack of ten one hundred dollar bills, and a check made out to me for
twenty thousand dollars. Wait-twenty thousand? Why would a man who has
absolutely nothing to do with me since I was four years old send me a check for
twenty thousand dollars? How did he even come up with this kind of cash? I sat
the items aside and finished reading the card.
It was the stereotypical hallmark greeting card.
What I found amusing however was the carefully penned “Sorry I couldn’t be
there for your big day!” Love: Dad. Who the heck is he kidding? I sat the card
down the table and eyed the letter. I had to admit it definitely has my
interest peeked. I carefully unfolded the letter then began reading it out
loud.
Christy,
As I
sit write this letter, I am starring at the picture of you that is now
displayed proudly on my desk. Please thank your mother for sending me this
memento of your final year in high school. It arrived unscathed last week. I
don’t believe either your mother or I could have imagined what a beautiful
young woman you’ve turn out to be. We are truly blessed to have you as a
daughter!
My
heart is heavy with so much pride today after speaking with your principal Mr.
Dawson who informed me that you my daughter are to graduate 2nd in
your class with honors. I was dishearten when I learned that despite many
offers from schools all across this country, you’ve elected to take night
classes from the community college there in Hampton Cove.
I am no
mind reader, but I do suspect this choice was based on financial issues. I
would like to ease that burden of concern for you. As you can see I made out a
check payable to you for twenty thousand dollars. I would like you to use this
money for your first semester at any school of your choice. Once I receive
confirmation on what school you have chosen, I will continue to issue a check
each semester until your completion of college.
I do hope the trust payments
will be enough for you to continue to live comfortable while attending classes.
I do understand that with college comes higher expenses then you’ve had the
last four years, so please do let me know if any adjustments in the amounts are
warranted.
As you
know I am always available to you any time day or night. Congratulations baby!
I am so proud of my baby girl! Your brother’s Jack and Connor send their love,
as do I and Lilly. I love you so much.
Love, Dad
I dropped the letter to the table as I rocked back
in my chair trying hard to absorb everything that had been crammed into that
short note. When had he contacted my mother about me? She never said anything
about hearing from him, not even in her drunken rants. What kind of trust
payments is he talking about?
As far as I
knew he up until now has never sent my mother so much as a dime. I sorted
through the rest of mail stopping on an envelope from Delta Bank & Trust.
It was sent to me but in care of my mother. What if she has been lying to me
all this time?
TO BE CONTINUEDEmail Me
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