My Current project at a glimpse!

Hello & Welcome back! I want to thank my faithful followers for visiting me each week. It has been a bumpy road as I learn to navigate ups and downs of blogging. Now for the good stuff! As I promised in my very first blog here is a little information on my current project!

My journey began a little over three years ago when I woke up one summer night from a dead sleep at three o'clock in the morning. I wandered out into the living room where I sat on the couch in the dark thinking about a dream I just had about this young girl. A couple of hours later I had come up with a whole plot line and additional characters in my head.

Now this was not the first time I have had these random thoughts pop into my head but I was discourage early on from sharing them because some thought I sounded "Crazy" so I would play them out in my head then soon forget them.

I had planned to do the same with this one but for some reason I still cannot explain the idea would not allow me to shake it. I would be playing with  my kids and another character would pop into my head. I would be wrapping Christmas gifts and a new twist to the plot would pop into my head. This went on for about another six months before I decided to take a risk and share it with my best friend.

My best friend listen intently then encouraged me to write it down. I went on to play with the idea of writing the story out for a few months before I finally decided to take a chance. I began writing two years ago on a fall evening at my dining room table. I would spend most of my evenings writing there after and happily was half way through the story when my computer crashed.

I had made the mistake of not backing my story up on a thumb drive so when I learned that my motherboard was fried I cried for days knowing all the search and work I had put into had been lost. I gave up after that happened for about a year before deciding to sit down and try it again.

I started the process over a few months ago and have made significant progress. In hindsight I am glad that my first draft was lost because the changes I have made since have created a much better story. I have learned to back up my work in several places and look forward to seeing this journey through to the end. Below I have posted a short description of my project.

 

Seventeen year old girl Abigail Roswell who is in the mist of dealing with the normal challenges of becoming an adult. When she learns that not only has her life been one enormous lie but the sister she once believed to have been kidnapped and left for dead is very much alive  and  well but would like nothing else but to see her dead.

The world Abigail's parents built in order to keep her safe is crumbling fast as she is faced with the reality that not only do Vampires exist in the world but they are also all around her including her beloved parents and close friends. Abby must choose between having a normal life with a guy she once loved or accepting her destiny as the future leader of the vampire underworld and risk losing her best friend forever.

The Roswell Coven: A path to Innocence

 

Mother's Day

As a young child I would watch my mother go about her day yet I wondered what she did that made her so tired. I'd think about how my dad was gone all day at school, work, or at the armory. Dad I could understand being tired with all he has to do but not mom she only stays at home.

When I was about thirteen my mother tried to give me advice anything from shoes or clothes to even the boys I liked. I'd roll my eyes at every word she spoke. How would she know what's best for me? "She is too old to know what's cool!" I'd mumble then storm off to my room.

A few years later she made matters worse. When she'd demand to know where I was going, with whom, or when I'd be coming back. My mother she didn't give up easy she’d show up where I least expect to check if what I told was indeed correct.

I often thought of her as nosey sometimes I even called her a witch! My mother she didn’t get discourage by the things I said if anything she latched on tighter much to my chagrin.

It was not until I became a mother that I finally understood all the things that a mother truly does. Now I am grateful for all the things about my mother I hated or didn’t understand.

I am even more grateful for all the things she passed from my grandmother & her onto me. Why? Simply because it made me the mother I am today! A mother I hope my daughters will one day want to be!

Happy Mother’s Day to all Mother’s who love their children!!

 

                            Yours Truly,

                                 AW

Recipe For Disaster: Tales From A Sleep Deprived Writer!

Welcome to the third installment! I can hardly believe a whole week has past since my last post. Where did the time go? I 've asked myself that same question all week as I worked (not) on my novel. I've spent countless hours in front of my computer yet as I look over the pages of my manuscript I am baffled by the lack of progress.

The first thought pops into my head. "Did you remember to save all your work?" I immediately start reading the last forty pages.

 

Here is a list of what happened next.

 

1. I fixed a couple of grammar mistakes.

 

2. I rewrote about 10 lines on five pages.

 

3. I rewrote two full pages that I felt was not working right.

 

4. I  took a short phone call during which I logged on to Facebook. I spent the next two hours reading pictures, posts, and new articles. I also discovered a neat game called "Word pyramided"

5. I read a few more pages then decided it was time to eat dinner.

6. I read a little more but realized it been a while since I checked my email....so of course I log in and  (drum roll please) I have messages telling me I have new followers on Twitter.

7. I log into twitter to thank my new followers then spend an hour or more reading tweets.

8. I decide to take a break for a little while. I spend some time with my kids & playing with my cat.

9. I'm well rested so back to reading... Yes I actually finish this time.

10. I realize I've wasted about 9 hours on something that should have taken me no more than an hour to complete.

The second thought that pops into my head. "I wonder if I have ADHD?"

I staying true to fashion had to look it up on WebMD. What I discovered there is one I am not ADHD but could possibly be an elephant! Not really but if you have ever used the symptom checker than you might have gotten that poor attempt at a joke! 

The last thought that popped into my head. "How many hours of sleep have I actually gotten this week?"The Answer 24 hours total. I've seen 3 in the morning at least twice this week. I've stay up writing two night in a row. I don't even remember Monday at this point. I am in need of some serious sleep!!

What I learned from this experience:

1. Sleep is vital!

2. Facebook is a distraction (Evil) and should not be used during writing time.

3. Emails will wait!

4. There will always be something interesting on Twitter so stay clear of it as well.

5. Do not make corrections to your manuscript until you are ready for the editing process.

6. It's okay to take time off or step away for a while!


On the plus side I did manage to complete a chapter amongst all the confusion. I also manage to create a poem for the novel I am working on so that was a rewarding moment this week. I've decided to post it here for your enjoyment! My way of saying thank you for suffering through this weeks blog with me!

When time aligns With clouds that bind

A Princess mind will be shattered

Untruths spoken will splinter

Broken lips will part the truth                   

Let rusted hands rewind

So an object long forgotten

Can spring forth with new life

Heed the written siren call

The powers will be withdrawn

A new empire will rise from her blood

As the Princess falls from ash to dust












 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In The Rear View

            
          In The Rear view

 

 
How many of you keep looking in your rear view mirror to guide you through the present? How many of you have a special person or place you run to when life gets too hard? How about a memory or memories you've labeled as "The happiest" moments of your life?  Have you given any thought at all to what kind of impact these seemly innocent objects of affection has had on your present or will have on your future? 

 
If you think they haven't had an impact on your present or won't impact your future think again! Don't believe me? Ask yourself a few questions like am I still the same person I was twenty years ago, ten years ago, five years ago, or even a year ago? I can bet the answer will always be NO! Why because we are always evolving in some way or another as we go through life.

 
What was important to us in middle school no longer matter much when we entered high school? What matter to us in high school no longer mattered when we started college, got married, or started our careers. The people we surrounded ourselves with in high school or college may not be our closest friends today. Why? Again I'll repeat because we are constantly evolving into somebody else or something more than what we were before. I believe that process is usually referred to as the natural progression of life.

 
For some of us though we have an extremely hard time letting go of certain aspects of our past because we fear never being as happy as we once felt. We hang onto small objects like key chains, love letters, or old matchbooks as reminders of a time when we felt loved. We have special places we run to hide at when things just don't happen the way we wanted them too. We keep those "Special people" in our lives we like to go to when life gets too hard. We get so wrapped up in trying to recapture the glory days we don't see the present for what it really can be like.  

 
We don't see how that ”Special Person" may not be having such a positive impact on our present lives or that we are passing up other special people because we fail to see them for who they are or what they do for us because they care for us in the now. We tote around old pictures or memories of places, times, and people that once made us feel happy, loved, safe, comfortable, or gave us that "On top of the world" rush.

 
The sad thing is we don't just look back on those memories fondly, no we use them like weapons trying to measure each one up against any other moment that arises in life to see if maybe we are as happy now as we were back then. In doing so, we ruin chance after chance of happiness because we are stuck trying to recreate a feeling or scenario of a time that was unique or special. I have to wonder with so much time being spent looking backwards how can we possibly ever really be looking forward.

If we are not looking forward then how do we expect to experience those fleeting moments we long for when we have to live in the moments at the time they are happening not looking to the past for how it should be happening. I think most of us have heard the famous quote by George Santayana. "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." As much as I believe those words provide a cautionary warning. I also believe they can be quite, self -damaging when taking out of context which happens when we use it to justify holding on to something from the past that we should otherwise let go.

 
I recently learned some of these lessons first hand, like what happens when you hold on to parts of the past out of fear that you will never experience the same level of love or happiness. I had to learn the hard way that holding on to a set of memories for too long prevents you from looking past what you had once to what you could be having now. What I learned is that I have a real shot at being happy maybe not the same level of happiness I felt way back when but happiness all the same. 

 
I could end up being happier or feeling more love it's hard to say but I'll never know unless I take the chance. Just like I will never know what amazing moments are waiting for me now or in the future if I keep looking backwards for answers to the uncertainties of the present? 

The past is okay to be remembered from time to time when special occasions arise but otherwise it belongs behind you in a map of where you have been rather then where you would like to be again.
Heck it's even okay to keep those trinkets, pictures, and love letters because after all they did contribute to who you are today and who you will become tomorrow but boxed them up and put them away. You don't need to see them every day to know they are a part of you!

 
As for me, I know giving up my old habits won't be an easy accomplishment. I have no doubt I'll stumble along the way but I have faith it will be well worth it in the end. It will be worth it when I start really living my life to the fullest again & creating new memories to carve out my path in life. So I am going to tear that old rear view mirror off, and through that sucker out the window!

 
Here is to hoping that I never find myself looking backwards wishing for something I could have had or could have been but ALWAYS celebrating what I have! Thanks for visiting & reading!  


                              Your Truly,
                                 AW.
 





                                                                 


























 

Welcome! I'm AW.

Hello! Welcome to my first blog!!  Alright so here is a little 411 on who I am.  My name is AW. Beardsley, I'm 35 years young, and I currently live in Western Maryland.

I live up in the part of Maryland that is best known for  snow & the beautiful mountain views. Although I've grown up in the mountains of Maryland, I have also lived in Northwest Ohio (where it was too cold for this girl!)  I did a lot of traveling at eighteen years old which gave me the privilege of seeing much of the United States! 

 I have five wonderful children and one overgrown kid I call Husband! I also have two feline babies named "Poe" (yes he is named after Edgar Allan Poe) and "Oreo" who was named by my oldest daughter Katie. (We wanted to name him Frost but the kids out voted us!) 

Now that you got to know a little about the personal side lets move on to the writer side of me. I have been writing poetry since I  was in elementary school but currently I'm writing my first novel (Shall I say attempting too at least.) I will blog more on that later!

Author's & their work that has inspired me as a writer:
Margret Mitchell (Gone With The Wind) J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter)  P.C. and Kristin Cast (House of Night Series) Danielle Steel (The Wedding)  Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)
 Stephen King (Carrie) and last but not least Stephanie Meyers (Breaking Dawn ) 

I have many more Books & Author's that I've enjoyed reading but I'll spare you that list as it could go on forever! Well there you have it the short version of my long life! I want to thank you for stopping by & hope that you will check back in weekly !!!

                                            Yours Truly,

                                                AW.